34.

Another birthday has come and it’s a reminder that it’s my second birthday without my mom. So much has happened in the last year. Heck, so much has happened in the last two years. Some things I never could have imagined. Sometimes I imagine that a lot of it can’t possibly be true. That this is all a bad dream and I just have not woken up yet. Sadly, it’s reality. My reality.

I’m heading into my 34th year with hope. Hope that things turn around for the better . I don’t want to fear the what-ifs. I don’t want to overthink everything. I really would like to just be happy. It seems quite naïve to write that but it’s true. It’s really all I’ve wanted from life. To be genuinely, ridiculously happy. And for the most part I believe I am. Some things in life have placed a substantial damper on it but I am happy and my smile hasn’t gotten any smaller. I still smile big. And to be honest, I’m glad that I can still say that.

Life isn’t always going to be easy. Years will change things. Make things better or worst. But we can choose how we respond to the curveballs. So for my 34th year, I choose to live life. I choose to be happy. I choose to be the person my mom raised me to be. I want to be able to look back and say that my 34th year was a turning point for me; that I got things done and achieved so much of what I want to achieve in my life. I want to say, "Faith, you rocked 34" on the eve of my next birthday so I'm working on that now.

To 34, I’m ready for you. Just suck a little less than 33 ;).