Monday, November 14, 2016

Not defeated.

Like many of you, last week was long and hard. I had intentions of blogging about our day trip to New York City to celebrate our anniversary and it just seemed so trivial. I thought long and hard about what I should do so I just decided not to blog. But then today it dawned on me that my blog is Life.Love&Marriage. How could my blog be about life if I just decided to disregard a huge event that happened last week? So here I am. Because I just can’t blog about our anniversary celebration without mentioning what happened last week. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be up to it ... but right now I just need to feel that I've done my blog some service with sharing my thoughts on what happened.

Unlike many of you, I was not surprised when Trump was elected. In fact, I chose to go to bed at 10:30pm (my normal time) and just find out in the morning. Not because I did not care but because when I saw how close the race was at 10:30pm I said to myself, the polls lied. He won. Sean worked the opposite of me last week and I texted him, Babe, he won. He said, you don’t know that. And I said, but I do.

I remember while I was in college me and my roommate at the time decided to research our two party systems. We read and we read and then we both decided to register as Democrats. I’ve been listed as a Democrat since I was 18 years old. During the primaries I voted for Bernie Sanders. I was one of those “Feel the Bern” people. I was fired up and excited. I know he was not the perfect candidate, look at his hair for crying out loud, but I heard him the loudest. I believed that he really wanted change. Not just for me, but for all of us. He had some flaws but I believed for me, he had the best intentions.

When the DNC did what they did I was livid. In my anger, I told myself that I would not vote in the election. My vote did not matter in the primary, why would it now? It took about a month and a few women to knock on my door to see if I’ll support their lady Hillary Clinton. It didn’t take me long and soon I began to jokingly say, “I guess I’m with her”. Because I for sure was not with him.

He referred to people of my race as The Blacks and thinks that Stop and Frisk based on how you look is acceptable. He referred to Mexicans as rapists and called for a ban on Muslims. I just could not get down with that. So I researched Hillary and felt confident that she would get my vote, which she did. I kept thinking to myself if President Obama called for a ban on Christians coming into this country or said that whites were serial killers he would have been run out of town. There is no way in hell I would support a candidate who said such a thing. But many did.

I was angry when he won. I was pissed. But I was not surprised. I’ve had a few days to simmer down which is why I’m writing this post now. After I piped my behind down, I began to listen. I mean, really listen. I stopped talking. This is what I soon found out.

There are three types of people who voted for Trump.

1. People who want change and want to shake things up. People who are tired of career politicians promising the sun and only handing rain. People who need jobs.

2. Platform Christians. You’re probably confused what I mean about this so I’ll share something that happened last week. When one of my co-workers found out that I was upset that Trump won she said, “But I thought Faith was a Christian, why would she be upset?” Guys, it took everything in me not to knock her out because ya know, Christian here. But I confronted her because I don’t let stuff like this slide. And she said, (no joke) my pastor said that there are three platforms that we should vote on. To vote for the candidate that is against abortion, gay marriage and for Christian liberties, such as being able to say Merry Christmas vs. Merry X-Mas. This was her platform.

3. The bigots, racists, white supremacists.

I refuse to call everyone who voted for Trump a racist. I saw the map. Many who voted for President Obama four years ago switched and went to Trump. You are living in a bubble if you do not admit that yes, many who did vote for Trump are indeed racist. And that what Trump said during his campaign lit up a fire that many of us wish were burning out by now.

But I’m also aware that there are some people who are really struggling in this country who are not being able to make ends meet, who are worried that winter is coming and they do not know how they are going to keep their kids warm. They are more concerned about a promise of a job than they are for equal rights.

I’m also seeing the huge disconnect. We are all so disconnected. I can’t feel for you, you can’t feel for me. It’s my way or the highway. I’m right, you’re wrong. We’re so busy trying to be the loudest that no one is listening. That is why my party lost.

My party lost because a big majority of people in my race chose to sit this one out. And guess what? I’m not even mad at them anymore. For a long time people of my race have been telling the government about how they are being ignored. We’ve cried out about police brutality, poor education, mistreatment through exploitation and discrimination and so much more. Democrats believed that they had the black vote, they always do, and Republicans don’t reach out because of that belief. The government has not made it a priority to address the plight of blacks in America because they have not had to. Blacks not giving their vote to the Democrats this time was their way of saying, guess what? If you’re (Hillary) in the house, or if you’re (Trump) in the house, we’re still going to have the same issues so I’m sitting this one out. If you want me to vote for you from now on, you’re going to have to work for it. I get that, I actually get that. Once my anger subsided I was able to understand your reasoning for not voting. I do not agree as many before me were not given the right to do so, but I get it.

I also listened to many white women who are pissed off as hell. 53% of white women voted for Trump. I mean this with no ill intent, but why are they so pissed off? I actually listened to a person say that her family are racists and she is the only one who voted for Hillary and she is now so disgusted with them. I heard a few say, I know that he says a few racists things but that is just how Uncle John is. He means no harm. And now these same women want to wear safety pins to show minorities and the oppressed that we are safe with them. Um, what? You couldn’t tell your family member that what they said in your home was unacceptable, that what they said in front of your child was unacceptable and now you believe that because you voted for Hillary you can now wear a pin to show me that I’m safe with you. If you can’t defend me in private, how in the world will you defend me in public? Do me a favor; please do not wear the safety pins. It is a slap in the face. Do you know how many Muslims will like to wear a pin that says I’m not a terrorist? How many blacks will like to wear a pin that says I’m not a thug? How many Mexicans want to wear a pin that says I’m not a rapist? They don’t get to, so neither do you. Take off the pin. Embrace the discomfort, it teaches you that not everyone has been able to walk the street in comfort.

For those of you who are upset about the protests and are screaming for us to get over it and that this won’t change anything are wrong. I don’t like riots but peaceful protests I’m all for. I’m sure there were many people who thought those fighting for civil rights were crybabies. Just get over it, segregation exists, how dare you fight for equality? Things never get done with just getting over something. Things get done because people wake up and finally find something worth fighting for.

Those of you screaming for us to give Trump a chance seem to have forgotten the last 8 years. Republicans have pushed back on so much of what President Obama wanted to accomplish, things that were their own ideas because they did not want him to succeed. I did not see many of you asking for your party to give him a chance. I did not hear you asking your party to please not screw over the American people. Instead you sat back and watched and now feel empowered to tell us to give him a chance. Guess what? It’s not going to be that easy. Trump is going to have to work so hard for many of us to give him a chance. The things we’ve heard the last 8 years, believe me, you’re going to hear it too.

Sean said to me, “A vote for Trump is a vote against you”. That is how many people feel about your vote to Trump. Your job now is to make them believe that is not true. When you hear a family member, friend, co-worker say something that you do not agree with, speak up. Show us that you really voted for change and don’t just say it. Don’t just feed your Facebook feed about how awful the riots are but also share that you voted for Trump but will not stand behind the hate crimes.

America has done us wrong and has split us into two parties. It is so much more than that. It is not so black and white. Start talking to people you strongly disagree with and get their point of view without feeling the need to talk over them. In fact, let’s get even more uncomfortable and just have that person speak the entire time without interrupting. And then schedule another day where it is just you doing the talking. You’ll find that we all have so much more in common and that the government has betrayed us. Until we figure out a way to understand each other, to work together, it is going to be some long trying years. It’s time for us to fix things. Not the government, us.

As always, I welcome everyone's point of view. Trump supporters, Hillary supports and the no supporters. I want to know your reason(s) for supporting your candidate and the reasons you could not get behind either candidate. I'm ready to listen.


  1. This post is every single thing. I voted for Hillary in the general election, but did not necessarily like agree with everything she did. I realize most politicians do not keep their campaign promises and none of them are saints. I just could not stand how Trump ran his campaign, and that he and many of his fans are intellectually dishonest. I did not like all the hate he knew he was whipping up.

    I respect that he is the president elect and I am not going to stand in the streets protesting for the electoral college to vote against him. He may turn out to be more progressive and common sensical than we expect but so far (and I hope he does for all of our sakes), with the people he is selecting on his transition team, he is failing at that. Particularly because he marketed himself as the "anti-establishment" candidate all this time.

    Regardless of what he does, I will never ever be able to trust him, what he says, and what he does. Everything he has done and said up to this point has done nothing but indicate the an extremely self-serving focus, that he doesn't even try to hide. He changes like the wind and his most rabid fans will excuse every single bit of it away.

    My biggest fear is his offspring will take it upon themselves to torture us with his legacy election after election by running for office themselves. Because I don't think they will ever be able to get that stink off of them. We already have to hear about them all over TV and with their names stamped on everything, it would be terrible to see them overrunning the government as well.

  2. Totally agree with everything you've said. Great post. I'm just at the point that I'm tired of all of the rhetoric. What's done is done and I can only hope for the best for America over this next 4 years. Plus, Trump is not a "true" Republican, and he's already starting to back pedal on things he campaigned on. This next for years will be interesting.


    NikG Life +

  3. Well said and very sensible. Faith you get it. I am not American and have watched the election from outside America.... Well it's unfortunate... I too am in an interracial relationship..and it hurt to hear my step daughter talk with contempt and shame about her white race, due to things said in the run up to the elections..humanity isn't about the color of our skin but our willingness to stand up for each other in order to create an environment where there is equal opportunity, equal access and equal information. Perhaps having uncomfortable conversations is one way to do well as reflecting on what I as an individual can do make a difference...

  4. You have articulated alot of the emotional fallout after the election.

    I have never understood platform christians - it's like they don't read the Word and know it for themselves. Platform christians present an incomplete picture that does not represent Christ and that pastor and many like him do their congregations a huge disservice. I am not a platform christian and never will be.

    Though I want to be vindicated for my choice - that's not a loving action. So in the times that are ahead, as opportunity presents itself I will continue to do all I can to speak out against things that are wrong.

  5. I read this and it's hard to even know where to start a conversation. You highlighted "platform Christians" and automatically, as a Christian myself, it puts up a wall that you do not understand me and don't want to. It sends the message that what I truly care about is not as important. It says that your vote should count for more because of XYZ (and I don't say XYZ in a derogatory way), but mine should not. I look at our country and the world and see terrorism happening. I see Christians being killed. I see businesses attacked by the IRS because out of their deep felt convictions they don't want to sell a cake to a gay wedding. I see Planned Parenthood selling unborn baby parts. I see myself, a person with three degrees looking for work for over two years, only being able to settle for something that will put a slight dent in my student loan debt. We definitely have a problem in America. The biggest problem like you said is that people are afraid of talking to each other and just being frank with each other. But in my experience, people don't want to talk openly unless you already agree with what they believe. I went to a ultra liberal college and being an African I learned not to open my mouth because how I feel would not be accepted. I think many good people in our country feel the same way and that is why the election turned out the way it did and Trump won.

  6. You hit the nail on the head. I feel too strongly about the events of the last few days to add more to that. My prayers right now is that God helps us all to understand and make peace with what is going on.

  7. You and I have talked A LOT about this. I agree with every you've said on here, your Facebook, and our text messages. I can not express enough how disappointed I am with all of this.

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  9. You've said what has been in my heart. I'm a teacher and my students were so upset. I decided to wear all-black to school the day after the election. I looked around and most of my students did the same. We were so upset that our country voted for someone who openly fanned the flame of hatred. We teach anti-bullying in our classes. However, my students saw a bully get elected president, while someone who promoted unity and togetherness (I know I'm being redundant) not win. And to top things off, the person with the most votes didn't win!! For us Christians, we need to go to the New Testament. After all, that is the part of the bible that was written about Christ. When we do that, we'll see that Christ says there are only 2 commandments: LOVE God and LOVE each other. He didn't have any exceptions to that LOVE. Neither should we.

  10. I'm with you friend. I've doubled down on my commitment to speak up against racism. I am a registered republican but voted for Hilary because, listening to trump and the way he speaks about and to other people and groups.... there is nothing else that could have been more important. I just can't see how any other policies or economics could be more important. I can't see how we can just OVERLOOK and endorse overt racism and misogyny. Gah. HUGS

  11. Wow Faith, you gave such an insightful and thoughtful account on what happened last week. I so agree with you on so many point except I really didn't think he was going to win, heck I think even he was surprised when he won.

    I didn't love Hilary for many things but most importantly how she behave when she was running against Obama in 2008. The Obama might have forgotten but I never will. However, I couldn't stomach voting for Trump everything that comes out of his mouth was just everything I despised. So I was definitely with her for lack of a better choice.

    I stayed up and watched the train wreck and I just couldn't believe my eyes. I am not sure what the future holds but I must say for the first time ever since I moved here 20+ years ago, I am a little concerned.


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