Thankful heart

I come from a household that stressed the importance of a thankful heart. It was drilled in us on how much we had to be thankful for. When my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer I began to feel a shift in so much of who I was, and it became harder to see what I had to be thankful for. And then when she passed away, forget about it. It was a really difficult time and for a while I was very angry with God. I could not understand why He couldn’t just have answered our prayers because we prayed so hard and we believed that He would heal her.

Then 2016 came and rocked what I thought my future would hold. Having to choose between my uterus and my life was a hard decision which now thinking of it, there was no choice to make. Always choose life. After that experience, I would have thought that I would be gone and that there was no going back to who I once was but it was at this time that my thankful heart began to emerge once again. I can't even tell you how thankful I was to be alive, how thankful I was to be given another chance to do it all again, better and quite possibly differently.

I have so, so much to be thankful for. Yes, I no longer have my beautiful mom who was my absolutely favorite person in the world and I won’t ever be pregnant but I’m alive. I get to laugh, travel, eat (big deal to me, ha) and love. I have an amazing husband, incredible friends and the most loving family. I get to watch my nieces and nephews grow up and make sure that during this time I develop close relationships with them. I get to wake up from a warm bed, in a home that I love, with a person that I love and go into work because I’m healthy enough. I get to watch my furbabies get so happy when I get home that their tails wag so hard that it actually hurts when it hits me. I get to watch the sunrise and the sunset (for free!) and with my camera I can freeze my favorite moments into time. I’m thankful that I don’t have it all but that I have more than enough. Because of that I still get excited about the small things and what a gift it is to be able to appreciate the small things and not always want more and more.

I’m thankful to God that this entire year I was not sick once. This is a huge blessing considering last year when I was in intensive care and spent 12 days in the hospital and several months on bed rest. I am thankful that I now know how hard it is to not be able to do the things you love simply because your body can’t do it. What a blessing it is for your body to be able to do what you love to do.

I am thankful for my blog friends who have stuck around for years. You have no idea how much some of your comments/emails have come at just the right time to lift a spirit that just a few minutes ago was down. And although many of you I will never meet, I want you to know how thankful I am for you.

I know that the holidays can be a difficult time for so many people (including myself) so I’m sending love to you and praying that you do not feel sadness this year, but instead feel God’s love all around you. Happy Thanksgiving! ♥