Craving sanity

I haven’t wanted to blog the last week and I know you all know why. My mind has been bogged down with all the information we are learning minute by minute. I don’t think I’ve ever seen information be updated as quickly as it has. It’s like each minute there’s a new positive, a new death … and it is just all so much. Sanity is completely all I’m craving at this moment.

The news has been on constantly and I realized how it was affecting my mood, my skin, my outlook … basically everything. I’ve never been so on edge. Wash your hands, wash your hands … the water so hot that I am literally burning my hands. I’m working from home and I’m still washing my hands and using sanitizer like an unhinged person. Thank God that I have a job that affords me to work from home because I know so many that do not have that luxury. Sean does not have that luxury and I am praying over his life so much harder these days. Reminding him to use the sanitizers I luckily had on hand because hygiene has always been a priority. Telling him to keep his distance but I know it’s difficult for the work he does. I’ve given him so much information that he has had a lot of things I’ve mentioned implemented at his work which gives me a sense of relief. But I’m not sure if relief is the word I’m looking for because relief is the last word I’ve been feeling.

Over the weekend, I had to turn off the news. I could not take it another minute. And guys, what a difference in my attitude. I felt so much better, the tightness in my chest gone. I know how important it is to stay in the know but even I know that all the information will be there when I return.

We did things around the house, finally filed all our rental paperwork that we’ve been putting off for YEARS, Sean grilled steak for dinner and it was so, so good. We binged ‘On the Block’ on Netflix, a show we both enjoy and took the dogs for long walks as we were blessed with sunny days. You don’t realize how much you crave the company of people until you must social distance. We were supposed to visit Colleen last weekend and of course we had to cancel … and it sucked because Colleen and I have been talking about this visit for months. But I’m reassuring myself that this too shall pass … and that soon enough I’m going to be craving these quiet weekends at home.

I’m not taking this time to do ALL the things. I’m just trying to do things that I have put off or procrastinated on because of things I felt had more priority. Granted, my weeks are the same, nothing has changed there. It’s my weekends that have. So, with the free time on the weekends I’m slowing down, cooking more (I know, how is that possible?) enjoying the fresh air when we walk the dogs, talking to my family and taking it day to day.

So this blog will be different during this time. I’ll pop up when I feel the need to write and pop out just as quickly. I just want you all to take care of yourselves during this time. This isn’t an easy time for anyone. I’ve always stressed the importance of enjoying the little things … and wow, is now that time more than ever. There is a silver lining in all of this … we now see how much we need each other to survive, to thrive and to live. Be kinder than you’ve ever had to be, be generous if you have the means, and be loving as for the one time in our lives, we really are in this together. We need each other now more than ever. I’m praying for all of us while remembering that this too shall pass; if there is one thing I’m certain of it is that. I love you all. Take care.