Monday, May 23, 2011

"At Least He Has A Job"

This weekend, the hubby and I were invited by our neighbors {let's call them D & K} to go with them fishing at D's sister's lake house.

Hubby was more stoked than I was because fishing is not my cup of tea. I just want to eat the fish, not see them die. Hubby was thrilled because for his graduation gift I got him a fishing line so naturally he wants to put it to some good use.

D & K are older than us. How much older you ask. They are in their 50s. D's two sisters and BIL are in their 60's so we were called kiddos the whole time. Not a big deal.

While hubby fished, I talked to K, one of D's sister and D's BIL.

Anywho, D's sister started to talk about her daughter with K and I, and one comment she made had me scratch my head. Of course, I scratched my head internally. Scratching your head in front of a person let's them know automatically that you don't understand them.

She said, "C has a new boyfriend. The last one was a mess but at least this one has a job."

I smiled politely of course but a million thoughts crossed my mind. Wait, what? Is this what a good man is all about now-a-days.

I began to think of my own mother and knew that, that comment would never have come out of her mouth. My mom believes I deserve more than just a man who "at least has a job."

Whatever happen to morals, good character, being God-fearing and etc? When did having a job make you a person that your parents want you to be it? Yeah, I know that having a job is a good quality but in this day and age there are so many great men out there who do not have a job. Does that make them least appealing?

And so what if he has a job. Is he punching your daughter in the face? If so, that job means a whole lot of nothing.

If I ever have a daughter I will make sure to never make that comment. I would let her know just how important it is to be with a man who has great character. Because most likely if he has great character, he isn't lazy, and will most likely have a job.


  1. I agree with everything you said 100%

  2. You are right. A job is just one small factor we all know these days that jobs don't last forever. When I was younger my aunt always told me to marry a man with lots of money. No wonder her marriages (yes, plural!) didn't last.

  3. I completely agree. It is ridiculous that is what some people think is the most important quality. If you ares getting knocked around by a guy it doesn't matter if he has a job our not. Ick that's just disgusting!

  4. I want my daughter to be with employed assholes. :)

    Nah I agree with you that there are a helluva lot more important qualities to look for besides a man's job. BUT...I think having a job/ speaks a lot about them. And to me a jobless man IS less appealing.
    You have to have some kind of hustle, drive, ambition IMO. And some kind of work ethic. If you're out of work and "looking" for years, that means you don't want to work.

    But I'd totally take a jobless man versus one that punches me in the face.

  5. I agree there is a lot more to a person than their career... so long as they have ambition and drive. There is a big difference between being jobless, not having gone to school to learn a trade, and not really actively looking VERSUS someone with direction and purpose searching and working hard to meet their goals in life.

  6. so true...especially nowadays...i know tons of great unemployed guys with masters degrees ( husband!)

  7. Even though I think that employent is important, there are other factors that make a good man. For all she knows just because he has a job, he might treat her daughter like crap. Need to balance the pros and cons.

  8. Yea sounds like the bar has been set low but it also sounds like the previous men in the past were worse. I'm sure you'll be a great mother who will expect a lot from her daughter and raise a woman who expects a lot from a man. You're right a job certainly isn't enough

  9. Does this lady read your blog? **laugh** That would be funny. I wonder if her daughter has a bit of a bad track record with men? Maybe this new one is just as bad as the last one but isn't mooching off of her (hence, the mom being happy for little mercies). Lol. Hard to know. But, yeah - what you said. Let's set the bar a little higher for our girls!

  10. I couldn't have said it better.

  11. Hi! Thanks for stopping by my blog and following, I really appreciate. It is great to see so many couples who are similar to us:)
    And I agree with you completely. A man's worth is not defined by his job and conversely, a man's job does not give him worth.

  12. It's a pity she doesn't see value enough in her daughter to believe she is worth more than a man with just a job.

  13. Hey Faith!

    I totally agree with you on this one. People are always so focused on what other people have...good job, nice car, nice home...etc. What about the persons moral, how they treat and what they bring to the relationship?

  14. You are going to be an amazing mama.

  15. This is SO SO true!! I have a friend that is like this...she always says stuff like "well he has a job" or "he makes good money." That stuff isn't what is important.


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