Weekend Of Reflection

I truly wanted to enjoy this weekend because training ended for hubs so next weekend his new schedule begins. I've been dreading it but I was determined to make this weekend a great one. I was going to do all the things great wives do. If you don't know what great wives do, shame on you. ;)

That plan changed on Friday night when hubby received a phone call from one of his rugby teammates that one of their teammates had passed away. It was horrible. Hubs cried, his teammate cried and then they had a gathering where all the teammates cried.

I think what made it worst was when they found out that their teammate that they absolutely loved committed suicide by hanging himself. That was worse. It was one thing if maybe he had gotten into a car accident but when they learned that he had purposely taken his life, that made it worst.

Hubs started to question himself. Maybe if I called him. Maybe if I met him for that drink. Maybe if I wrote on his wall and told him how awesome he was and what a great addition to the team he was.

He was new to the team this season but he was already becoming one of the guys who just went all out for the team. He went to every practice and every game {even when he was injured}. He was the type of guy they needed on their team and they were thrilled that he joined them.

He was funny and charming. So charismatic. He loved his girlfriend and his girlfriend adored him. I can't imagine the pain she is going through right now.

On the outside looking in, it looked like everything was perfect. Nothing was wrong. The worst part is that there were no signs that he was struggling inside. Maybe the sign was being overly excited, overly happy but that isn't a sign most people look for when you think your friend might want to commit suicide.

Even I said to myself, maybe if I smiled at him after that last game and told him how great of a rugger he was turning into. I didn't. And now he is gone. This person who was full of life will never walk the earth again.

It is such a difficult thing to think about and unfortunately all of us will go through this in our lives. Death is such a scary thought. To think that the people we love will one day leave us scares me to no end. I don't want to think about it but death has been on my mind all weekend.

I hugged the hubs tighter this weekend and called my family to let them know just how much I loved them. You just never know. And I never want to have to think about what I could have done or should have said to let them know just how much I love them.

Although, the weekend never turned out the way I planned, I am OK with that. Sometimes you have to think about the hard things in order to get your life into perspective. This weekend, we talked about a lot of things I never thought we would talk about but it reminded me just how much we love each other and how much we never want to take a day with each other for granted.

Each day, treat it like your last. Each day, let the people you love know you love them. Each day, laugh more and complain less. Each day marvel about how beautiful life truly is. Each day, go to sleep knowing that if tomorrow never came your life would be a testimony.