Thursday, July 15, 2010

.Hurt.

You know those family members you will do anything for, you do anything for. The people who are to love you unconditionally. They are the ones who have the power to hurt you more than anyone in the world. More than your husband or your friends.

I want to cut you off. I am sick of feeling like I would never be good enough. I'm sorry if you do not agree with the way I think. I'm sorry that I am not Mrs. Perfect. I'm sorry that you wish I had done better. I'm sorry that you do not agree with the way I live. I'm sorry that you think I am not Christlike enough. I'm sorry that you think I do not read my bible enough. I'm sorry that I am not the person you want me to be.

But most of all, I'm sorry that I have to apologize for this.

It is times like this I want the world to revolve around just my husband and I. Because I can always count on him to make me feel that I am good enough. Because he does everyday, this reminds me that God must love me somewhat because why would he have blessed me with him? Why would God bless me at all?

I'm hurt. I'm sad. But tomorrow, I'll be over it. And although your actions hurt me today they will have no control over me tomorrow.

9 comments:

Frugalista said...

Sometimes you just need to vent. Hope it gets better!

Melissa said...

:( I'm sorry you're feeling bad. You seem like an amazing person to me! Try not to let it bother you, I know that's easier said than done...

Mrs. Sergeant said...

I'm so sorry my sister! I hate that I had to read about you being sad and hurt! That makes me feel awful as you are one of my favorite bloggers and I know what you're going through. I can honestly say I've been there... Your husband is amazing to say such things and to be there for you! I'll keep you in prayer and yes, tomorrow is a new day. We dust's ourselves off, forget the anger and disappointment of yesterday and look forward to a bright and beautiful present.

xoxo,
Mrs. Sergeant

Dana said...

I am sorry that you are sad. Have you been talking to some of my family members? The way that I have dealt with family members like this is that I have limited contact with them. I love them from afar. One thing I do, is not allow my feelings for them to effect my marriage or my life. You are blessed to have a wonderful husband who support your life together.

ruthy ann said...

His grace is sufficient. You are HIS child...perfect, made in his image...you are beyond enough.

Eve said...

I totally agree with Ruthy Ann, His grace is sufficient. I understand fully well the hurtful things a family member can say to you, and why it hurts so much is because you have love for them. But when that love is not returned, and they don't respect you or your spouse, then who are your brothers and sisters? Meaning a blood line doesn't yoke you to them by spirit.

Surround yourself with those who are likeminded and support you and encourage you and are there for you, and yes- can tell you when you are wrong, but in love. And tell you when you are doing right- to encourage and bring a smile.

Cleave to your husband, and keep your relationship with God ever growing. Guess what, whoever said hurtful things to you didn't make you, so they sure can't break you.

My Dream Ring said...

AMEN Ruth Ann! {{{HUGS}}} to you Faith we all <3 you :)

Faith said...

thanks everyone for letting me vent!

Nawalista said...

:) I know you'll be okay, you are such a strong and amazing person. I've watched you overcome a lot my Faith darling. Just keep going with your "own" family's life! XOXO