Question & Answer - Part 4

MISCELLANEOUS

Besides your sisters, do you have any black friends? Not acquaintances but actual friends. I have wondered this for a while. Nothing against anyone, I just wanted to know.

I could answer with a simple yes but I don’t think that’s good enough, so I’ll be answering this question alone today.

I'll start with a little background:

I was born in Manhattan. I grew up and went to school in the Bronx. Before I went to college, I could count on one hand the amount of white (or should I say Caucasian?) friends I had. All my friends were Black American, African, African American, of Asian descent or Puerto Rican. It wasn’t that I didn’t want white friends, it was just that not many white children went to my schools growing up.

When I decided on college, I told my childhood friends, “we’ll be friends forever”. Let’s just say that within a few months in college that promise began to disappear. We were no longer calling each other every day. We were no longer missing each other. And that was OK. We were growing up and we were always told that the friends we made in college would be our lifelong friends. We were OK with growing apart.

I decided to go to college in upstate NY. 6 hours away from the city. Less than 2 hours away from Montreal. My first day, I quickly became aware that I was often the only African American person in my class. It was a big environmental change. I stood out. It probably didn’t help that I always wore stilettos while so many students wore pajamas to class.

I could go through pictures and show you my ACTUAL non-white friends but I don't feel the need to do that. It almost is like when a person says they are not racist because they have a black friend. So I'm not going to do that. I don't have to do that.

My freshman roommate was Italian and we became inseparable. We had so much in common that we thought it was destiny that we were set up to be roommates. First week of college, I met a guy named Chris (white) who lived in my dorm building and we went everywhere together. Soon if people would see me they would ask where Chris was and vice versa. I met Stacy (blond standing to the left of me in my wedding picture) and when I say that's a bond that can't be broken, I mean it's a bond that can't be broken. And you all know Colleen, she makes an appearance often because we moved to the same town after graduation. And obviously you know Sean. The white love of my life.

But I didn’t only make white friends. Since my parents are from Ghana I really love making friends with people who were born in other countries, etc. There is just something that draws me in when I learn you were born somewhere besides the US. I made friends from Morocco (in my wedding), from Romania, from Peru, from India, from Korea (in my wedding), from Jamaica, from Dominica (small island in the Caribbean). The nickname for my friends and I was “United Nations” because we were from everywhere.

The day before we all graduated the amount of tears that were shed was … let’s just say it wasn’t pretty. We were all heartbroken. But it made things easier because I moved with two of my sorority sisters (both from Dominica) and we just continued "college".

Many of these (non-white) friends do not make the blog often because of distance. But distance hasn’t killed our friendships because of technology. It is easy to keep in touch and when we do see each other it is as though time has not passed us by.

So yes, the answer is yes. I have actual black friends who are not acquaintances. But I’m more grateful that I can say that I have friends from everywhere. I’m proud that regardless of the color of your skin, I am willing to welcome you with open arms.

So my question that I'll answer is: Does it really matter where your friends come from? I think it does somewhat. If you're only choosing to be friends with people who are like you then that is a problem. So if you happen to meet a person who could possibly be your soul friend, don't make it stop there because of the color of their skin. You can thank me later.

And now I'm off the soap box. I'll return there in a month or two ;).

Have a fabulous weekend, loves! ♥