Yesterday was my first day back to work and it went pretty great. Everyone was happy to see me and I received so many hugs. I only cried twice so that was pretty good considering I cry easily. I wore a maxi skirt to work but unfortunately that proved to be a little difficult so today I’m in sweats; because my job is awesome and will allow me to wear comfortable clothing until I can wear my business casual attire. I want to thank you all for wishing me well on my first day because it worked!
I think I should disclose that my posts are going to be more about me reflecting on life. I am disclosing because I think many people won’t find these inspirational but currently it is all I am thinking about. I'm thinking about how life is so fragile and can be ripped away at any time. I keep on reflecting on how lucky/blessed I am and it is pretty hard to actually write about other things. I will be sure to mix it up with some fun things because I intend to live life but I am also at this point in life where I am thinking and mediating a lot. So now that, that’s out of the way …
It took some convincing on Sean's part to get me to do this. I worried about whether I'll be able to sit at the restaurant long enough to eat as any prolonged duration of sitting caused pain. Even standing straight caused pain so I worried whether I would be able to walk without limping. I worried about what to wear as I couldn't have anything compress my stomach and I didn't want my swollen leg to be visible. But I also wanted to be cute as I had been in sweat for two months.
I decided eventually that they were only worries and the only way I would know for sure was if I did it. I digged in my closet and found a black maxi and put on my white converses carefully. I even convinced myself to put on a little makeup which actually took some effort. It was a little crazy to put on makeup and realize that it takes effort to do so. It's something that I've never noticed and for the first time I was aware of how I used my body to apply makeup.
And although I didn't have Sean take pictures of me to document this day, I was thrilled to look in the mirror and see Faith staring back at me. Not the person that had been staring back at me for two months. I actually looked alive!
There is something about sitting down to eat at one of your favorite restaurants and realizing that you were given another chance to do it. I knew something was up when it did not bother me at all that our waiter forgot to give us salsa to go with our chips. It was like, it's OK. It's not the end of the world. When he came over we asked for salsa and he proceeded to apologize profusely. I reassured him not to worry about it because I meant it. After what I had gone through not having salsa with my chips was not a big deal. I was given another chance to have chips and salsa and appreciate just how good chips and salsa really is!
It's a little thing but I have to take note of how I handle the little things now that way I can handle the bigger things gracefully.
And although I was not in tip-top shape and felt pangs of pain while eating, I honestly felt good.