32.

I’m 32 today. It feels strange to write that. Not that I don’t welcome getting older but that it is almost like I cannot believe that I am 32.
I feel like I just turned 18. In fact, I can remember it like it was yesterday.

14 years ago, I was a freshman in college and my roommate and I decided that in celebration of me finally turning 18 (joys of being an October baby) since she had already turned 18 in March, we were going to pierce our cartilages. We felt very legit when we handed our ID cards and the woman nodded her head. I finally did not need permission to pierce one of my body parts. To this day, I smile when I see my cartilage because of the excitement I felt that day. I think it was the most rebellious thing I had ever done at that point in my life. I remember feeling so excited that I don’t recall if I felt any pain. I also remember no one even noticing that I had done it when I went home for break and having to point it out, haha.

So the fact that I can say that I am 32 years old is a little baffling to me. But I am so grateful to say that with the grace of God I made it another year. Life has been up and down the last few months. Lots of emotions that I cannot control. Moments when I’m hit with feeling like I must be dreaming or in some nightmare because this all can’t be true. But it is. And I’m learning that I can only take it one day at a time.

I’m grateful for this life. I’m grateful for another year. I’m grateful for the lessons I have learnt to date and the lessons I will continue to learn.

This year I’m hoping for more. Hoping to do more with this life that I’ve been given. I hope to be more loving. More understanding. More hopeful. More prayerful.

But I’m also hoping for less. I’m hoping to be less afraid & less worried for the future.

I want to be able to let go and let God but most of all I’m just thankful for another year.