Wednesday, March 6, 2019

Priorities: Our Home

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Growing up, I lived in a small two bedroom apartment in the Bronx with my three sisters, mom and dad. Yes, you read that right. There were six of us and let's just say that privacy was not a part of our lives growing up. We could have definitely done with a little more space but we lived just fine without it.

I would say that it gave me quite a bit of perspective because when I went off to college and my roommate was complaining about the size of our dorm room, all I could think was, wow … this entire right side of the room is all mine?! I can do with it as I please?! I was not one of my peers that complained about the size of our dorm room.

This "being OK with small living" trickled down to when we purchased our first home. For Sean, size meant that you had made it. For me, size meant absolutely nothing. There were just two of us (no animals at the time) so we did not need size. It took a while to convince Sean but soon he saw things my way ... you know the whole happy wife, happy life ;).

Our first house was small, yes, but it was warm, cozy and welcoming. It was a home filled with lots of laughs, love and happiness. We welcomed friends and family into our tiny abode but I always felt that we had plenty of room.

When we had to leave our first home I felt a ridiculous amount of sadness. So many good memories were made there but I knew that wherever we went we would make it home.

When we were looking for our second home, I once again did not want an excessive amount of space. Sean was harder to convince this time around but in the end we reached a happy medium. At that time the argument was that we wanted kids so we would need a little more space. I agreed that was a good reason but I still didn’t want it to be extreme considering how I grew up. Yes, space is great and all but wasted space is not.

And considering our circumstances now, I’m glad we went the route we did. Even now, I feel like we may have a little too much space and our house is not big by any means. I’ve always wanted my home to be warm, inviting, colorful and full of personality. I’ve never been one to need all the new, big and shiny things. And lately, I’ve begun to see just how rare that is. Not to say that people who want big, lavish, updated homes are wrong but nowadays it is so easy to see what everyone is doing and what everyone has. So easy to want to keep up and portray an extravagant lifestyle even if it means spending money you do not have. I sometimes scratch my head and wonder how people could need so much space. Is it really necessary? And now thinking about our carbon footprint it makes me wonder even more but that’s a post for another day.

Our priorities should never be about keeping up with the Joneses or what it feels like lately, showing off. I don’t think that I’ve ever scrolled through Instagram and seen people proudly share their "outdated" kitchens because somehow we’ve made it that, that is not good enough. If someone is sharing their outdated kitchen it's because there's going to be a renovated after to reveal very soon. Somehow we've made it that self-worth is the amount of likes you can get from a picture and well that linoleum floor isn't getting it. Our priorities should be making sure that our homes feed our spirits. Should be places that at the end of the day you feel happiness to be able to curl up on your couch and drink a glass of your favorite beverage. Should be a place that you feel safe and warm.

It has become way too easy to compare our lives with strangers on the internet. So easy to actually believe that you have not made it because your kitchen is not massive, with an intense amount of natural light, white cabinets and marble countertops. The thing is that when we die, those things do not go with us.

Instead think about what home really means. It is the place that you can escape to from the outside world. So make it a place full of all the good you want in your life. Happiness, laughter, love, peace and warmth. The memories you make in your home is what outlast it all. Just think, in the 60s and 70s wood paneling was in and now not so much ... but I bet that the memories made in that wood paneled home still remain.

8 comments:

  1. My home is vintage - we are still in the 20th century! But I have finally come to appreciate it, for it is a place of warmth. I am always surprise by the compliments and comments I receive when I'm hospitable. I come from a large family and really appreciate space. My husband likes space because that's all he's ever known.
    Thanks for this thought provoking post.

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    1. Vintage?! That alone sounds like a dream to me! I can just imagine how beautiful your home is. You are very welcome :) Happy Friday!

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  2. When I went away to school I was like look how small my room is(my dorms were actually the biggest on campus). I was so used to having my own space. I'm the youngest of 4 so from the time I was in 6th grade until I graduated I had the house to myself. I had my own room and a play room. My mom is an only child and came from a well to do family so she liked nice things and space. Meanwhile my dad is from rural Alabama and grew up in a 2 room log cabin with 6 siblings and his parents. Needless to say my parents saw things in a very different light. My mom liked for us to have nice things, my dad wanted cheap. My mom had to teach him not all cheap things are good. There is a difference between being frugal and downright cheap. My dad would drive me past the projects and say "Shelly these people have Cadillacs and Mercedes but live in the projects. You get a reliable car and work on buying." Years later what he said definitely resonates with me. My dad's frugalness and my mom's want for her children to have nice things worked out well. They were able to own a few homes and send us all to college on their dime. To this day my dad is a firm believer in not buying a brand new car, always certified pre-owned. He also still buys sneakers from Payless...lol! But we buy him Nikes and New balance's for Christmas because it drives us insane! LOL!
    It's been hard living in NYC and these small azz apts. I moved here from Houston and a 2700 sq ft house. The struggle is real!!

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    1. Wow, thank you so much for sharing! Your dad sound like my parents, haha! Oh boy, I can imagine how that it is a big adjustment. 2700 sq ft to the apartments in the city ... I hope you're adjusting well!

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  3. I couldn't agree with this more. It's all about perspective and what works best for you. To be honest, I kind of feel silly that we have a room in our house that we haven't even touched yet. I know that we will use it once we get it setup because my husband works from home two days a week and we're thinking about making it an office, but it's not really necessary and we could have done without it. It should never be about showing off (I have friends like that lol) but more about what makes you happy. Sierra Beautifully Candid

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    1. You have a growing family (you'll soon have three big boys!) you'll def. need that space ;)

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  4. I love hearing about how your grew up. I'm sure the apartment had its challenges, but it sounds really cozy and nice too. And I couldn't agree more about Instagram. I'm constantly rolling my eyes at all these 20 somethings living in super fancy houses with the latest and greatest of everything inside. Does not seem like reality in mind, but it's become such a "thing:!

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    1. I love reliving it :) Oh it def. had its challenges but I think it is also one of the reason my sisters and I are so close. We had no choice but to be living in such close quarters, haha. Girl ... you and me both! It's insane and social media has only made it worse. It def. has become a "thing". I can't imagine how this kind of behavior is going to affect the young people growing up in this generation.

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