Tuesday, June 10, 2014

More new friends, more new friends.

Several months before I knew we were moving to PA I would continuously say and sing "no new friends, no new friends".
I believe I even said it on the blog a few times. How very naïve of me.

I guess I had an excuse because being in my 30s I assumed that all the friends I was going to make in my lifetime were already made. It was comforting not having to share the name of my husband or my sisters. I didn't have to tell you where I went to college or the name of my first boyfriend. I don't have to explain why I don't trust anyone who doesn't like chocolate or ice cream. My real friends they already know all of that.

I mention Colleen a lot on the blog (she lived the closest) but I have several other girlfriends that I'm extremely close to. And although we talk on the phone and text each other on the regular, we don't get to see one another in person often because of distance. We're actually planning a little reunion for this year that I'm so excited for. Crossing fingers that it all goes as planned. Being in different states, all around the country doesn't allow for many get togethers. Everyone is busy living their own lives after college. The test of true friendship arises when you finally do see other and it's like time has not passed. We're able to start right where we left off.

So knowing I had them and of course my sisters, friends have never felt like they needed to be made at this point in my life.

And then we relocated.

That silly theme song became lower and lower and now I don't sing it at random anymore.
Because new friends (as much as I hate to admit it) is where it's at right now.

It has been so strange talking to my new co-workers about Sean and then being asked, "Who's Sean?" And realizing I have to backtrack and actually say my husband until everyone knows his name. Is it just me but I hate saying my husband for some reason. If I'm playing around it's all good but on the everyday I like to call Sean, Sean. But I'm dealing with it. Because that is how it is now. Starting from the beginning.

On the blog I may seem outgoing but truthfully I'm only that way if I know you. Around new people I tend to keep to myself and observe behaviors. I'm not the first one to go up to a stranger and introduce myself. I never know if your intentions are to kill me, ya know ;).

I've had to work on this because one of my new co-workers (Margaret) at work continued to ask me to go to lunch with her. But I would decline because I just did not want to go. Sean basically made me. And wouldn't you know it? We have so much in common and I've made my new work BFF. Bonus is that I get texts from her in the morning reminding me when it's jean day at work. I mean, it only happened once when I wore jeans on a non-jean day, haha.

The same goes for Nikki and Lisa.

I felt they were friends by default since Sean works with their boyfriends but when you find yourself on the phone, texting, dining out and doing things without the guys, you realize that maybe it was your choice all along. And friends by default become friends by chance.

So, no. I don't think my forever girlfriends will ever be replaced but God knows I'm grateful for new friends.
Because sometimes you just need to go shopping with someone that understands why a shirt showing back fat is unacceptable, not sexy.

29 comments:

Nylse Esahc said...

Yeah I relate to this; the more the merrier...and that backfat comment just made me laugh.

Dee D said...

You know what they say... sometimes strangers are just friends waiting to happen. I'm so glad you're making new friends at work... :)

Beauty said...

It's always nice to be surrounded by nice caring friends especially if they can also go on shopping trips with you.
I am not able to get together with my girlfriends often due to distance and family/work schedule. So, I always cherish the time we spend together.
Enjoy the rest of the week.

Law_Fal said...

LOL! I was all about the no new friends as well, but now I'm friends with one of my new co-workers & am glad to have her. Although my inner circle is still tight it is nice to have new perspectives and ideas from another friend. Glad you have met some shopping happy hour brunch buddies!!

EmilyJane said...

I told you that you had to find a new work bff. EVERYONE needs a work bff whether you hang out outside of work is totally up to you.

I'm definitely more of an introvert, but oddly enough when I start working somewhere and I'm the new person I always start yapping at people. I basically force people to be my friend LOL. and yes I was that kid who offered to share my crayons first so i had someone to hang out with :P

Discovery Street said...

I'm constantly trying to meet new friends that I connect with...I'm that creeper at the playground asking for peoples numbers! lol

Adventures with Little man said...

I love this post as I can relate to so much of it. I have a girlfriend that knows everything about me and I love it. However distance and life have made meet ups non existant. Now, my problem is that I sort of want new friends. I want someone to shop with and text random stuff to but I am having trouble finding any in my area. And I totally get you on the explaining your life to new people. I just started a new job as well and I keep saying Chuck this Chuck that and they are all like who is Chuck? Wait, your married? You have a three year old? Your husband was injured in Iraq and you like to dip your meat in applesauce? lol Anyway, great post as always girl. I always look forward to seeing them. And by the way, I think we live pretty close to each other...just saying :)

1 + The One said...

You mean there are more new friends to discover?! Lol.. I also thought I had made all my friends at this age but I guess I have to make room for more.. Not complaining, meeting and making great friends is a treasure indeed.. I'm glad you are surrounded by people that care about you

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Katie said...

Thank goodness for new friends! I'm so glad you pushed yourself out of your comfort zone. I feel like new friends take work, but are a breath of fresh air! Wouldn't want you to be all lonely :)

Speaking of upcoming trips, are you guys planning on going to Vegas again this year?

Kimberly Whittaker said...

I felt the same way until my most recent life change... now that I have relocated and I'm in a completely new environment I have to force myself to meet some new peeps so I don't go back to my place and eat cheetos every single night. lol YEA! for new friends. :)

Chrissy + Nate said...

Girl, I'm the same way! I will not be the first person to approach a new scenario or situation. I want to see how YOU act first, ha! We've lived in our town for 4 years now, 4 hours away from everyone/everything we have ever known... and just NOW have we established a sort of friend-circle like you're talking about: people who know your quirks, background stories, and things you like/dislike. It is such a comfort getting to "this stage" because now it's fun! But it does take time. Glad it's happening for you already!

Cece said...

I have a new song for you. It's really silly though and we sang it in girl scouts. "Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold" Hope you find some new peeps you connect with soon. It just takes time.

Maureen S. said...

Lol-back fat= unacceptable! I love that statement. I too have realized that some of the ladies I hang out with because our husbands are close friends or relatives, are really my good friends too! That discovery is really awesome when it happens. Yay for new BFFs!

two birds said...

That last line is perfection! I am pretty outgoing myself, so I love making new friends, but some days you just don't want to put yourself out there! I'm glad you did and that you made some new ladies!

Eesh said...

Hmmm I'm so the opposite! I will walk up to someone I don't know and be like GIRLLLL I love those shoes! Where you get them at? What size do you wear? Oh really? Can I have em? =D I think it has something to do with the fact that I don't have much friends any-more but I love to socialize. I mean I wouldn't jump to put someone on the friends list real quick, but they'd definitely be in the "associates" category until they prove their worth to be moved over to the friend zone.

Why do I always come over here and leave a story? Sigh. I need to work on that!

xoxo

Desiree Macke said...

I thought by 30 I'd be done with new friends. The whole getting-to-know-you-better business can be so taxing. Retelling the life story can get old! But, I've found with each new adventure life brings, it also brings new friends. :) And, things would be pretty lonely if those new adventures weren't shared with new friends, too!

Georgina Castellucci said...

So glad Sean made you go to lunch with her - I am actually the same way. I can make myself a bit outgoing when necessary but I typically do hang back a lot of the time.
I am connecting with amazing new women also and feel so fortunate that they are coming into my life xo

Mrs. Pancakes said...

glad you have been able to make some new friends.....i am always thinking that when we relocate in a year i will have a hard time making friends but maybe not. and long term friends are never replaceable...no matter how long time goes on, my friends and i are always close!!

Morgan said...

Work BFFs are awesome! I had one and after she had a baby she left to stay home with him. I miss her so much!! I have a lot of close friends at work, but none have made it to work BFF status yet, haha.
And yes, you do need friends to be honest about how stuff looks on you!! Like on Mean Girls, "You wouldn't buy a skirt without getting your friends to see if it looks good on you or not..."

Rod and Alex - aka: "Rolex" said...

Love this post! I totally understand this sentiment! I felt the same way - thinking that I didn't have time for new friends...but when I started my new job two years ago, I met a whole new group of wonderful people that I can't live without!

Life with J and J said...

Awww..I am so glad you are making friends. It can be hard when you move away from your comfort zone but I am glad you are going out and enjoying time with others. Its a win-win. Who knows? PA just might grow on you! :-D

Kacie Ellis said...

I can totally relate! I don't like the idea of making new friends but my husband and I recently moved and have been having to make new friends. Like you, I'm very shy around new people but once I get past that, it's nice to have friends :)

http://kacieskloset.blogspot.com/

Chari D said...

You go Faith! I have very little friends and I'm very bad at making new ones. I'll have to be more like you and go for it!

Chari D said...

You go Faith! I have very little friends and I'm very bad at making new ones. I'll have to be more like you and go for it!

Pegster said...

I am all about new friends too and I think it's because there has been so many changes in our lives the past few years. Old friends will always be old friends and we hold them close to our hearts but it's nice to have everyday friends that share our common daily frustration. Or in my case, friends with kids that understand what you are going through.

I've made some awesome friends through blogging which surprised me because I thought I already had all my friends. Man if we lived close to each other I would so be your new friend :).

PS - I am with you, I like to call my husband by his name; I mean he does have a name after all.

Ashley R said...

This post made me happy. Nothing is better than making friends unexpectedly. There is something very rewarding about new friendships the older you get. :)

Laura Darling said...

I like to call Matt, Matt, too. I was at the doctor a few weeks ago and she asked if anyone I'm close to was sick as well, and I said, "well, my, uhh, household member, isn't." HOUSEHOLD MEMBER. Husband would have been much less awkward!

Maria said...

I always look forward to sitting down and catching up on your blog! i'm so happy to hear your loving your "new friends" - I had to laugh at what you said about calling Sean your "husband," because I am the same way. I feel like I'm 83 or something. Or like I'm not mature enough to call him that. HAHAHA!
<3