Thursday, May 10, 2012

If You Want To Know ... Now You Do


Well hello lovelies! How've you been? It feels good to be back. I missed my blog. Almost as much as I've missed many of yours. I'm kinda excited to be back to catch up with all of you. I tried a few days to get into it but I just read and hardly commented. But it was OK because technically I wasn't coming back, just yet.

Many of you think/thought I took a blog break because I was pregnant. Let it be known to you all that I am not pregnant. Let me say it again, WE ARE NOT PREGNANT! We are also not trying at this time to become pregnant.

Yes, I did get overwhelmed but there were also a few things in my mind that had me a bit distracted, that I couldn’t just blog like everything was alright.

I have always been a healthy chica. Not that I’m not right now but I’ve never had any issues with my health. I’ve never stayed at the hospital for more than a few hours and it was because I was visiting someone. I’ve just been so blessed that I have parents that pray hardcore for me day and night.

Well, a little over a month ago my body was not acting the way it normally does. I should have noticed something earlier than that but life gets in the way and you don’t pay attention to every single detail. And honestly, I wasn’t feeling any differently.

Well, I paid a visit to my doctor and come to find out I have fibroids. Large ones at that. I instantly became sad and actually cried like a BIG sloppy baby on Sean’s shoulder after my abdomen ultrasound. I cried because I have heard about fibroids. Don’t get me wrong, I know I was not diagnosed with something big like cancer {so don’t get all high and mighty on me} but whenever you hear that something might be wrong with you, everything just seems so big.

Fibroids are most common in African and Black American women. I mean, can’t we catch a break! Ha, kidding. Kinda. See? I still have a sense of humor.

I have five fibroids and I can get them shrunken {because they are pretty big} but the medication would make my body feel like it is going through menopause. This obviously won’t be good because one day Sean and I would like to try for babies. And most women going through menopause are not carrying babies in their wombs.

Another option I have is that I can get them removed {it is some medical procedure that I can't pronounce or spell} but that isn’t the best option unless I was 55 and was not planning on trying for kids. We all know I am not 55 and we are childless.

There are other options but no need to bore you or myself with them.

So, there has been a lot of praying around these parts because well, I have more chances of having a miscarriage or not being able to carry to full term. It seems that for some darn awful reason the pregnancy hormones will make my fibroids grow in size which will not be good for a growing baby. You know those tiny beings need space in that little space but damn fibroids are taking up room.

It is funny because becoming pregnant has never been on my mind as it is now. Because now I think about whether I would be able to have babies or not. I have Faith {no pun intended} and I know friends that have given birth to healthy babies but when that possibility of not having kids comes into play, your mind begins to play tricks on you and that is all you can think about.

I’ve been praying. Sean has been praying. My family is praying.

When the time comes I am confident that it will work out. I can’t let these thoughts control my mind. Control my life. And I won’t be forcing us to start trying now just to see what happens. I just figured I should let you know just to make sure that you aren’t eying all my pictures trying to find a bump. If there is a bump it is just because of all the extra ice cream and Chinese food I’ve been consuming.

#fatty, #not pregnant.

Oh and those damn fibroids.

And it’s funny, life isn’t always sunshine, it isn’t always going to be what we thought it would be, but I still feel that I have it all. The devil can’t take that away from me.

52 comments:

Valerie Griffin said...

praying for you, Faith!

Mrs. H said...

You're in my thoughts hon.

MellyB said...

Faith! First I'm so, so, so glad you're back. I missed your blog.

Fibroids. You're right, they aren't life threatening, but that doesn't mean they don't suck. Like really, really suck. I felt so bad for you reading this post because I have heard all of those same things. Ugh. My ob says that I'd be surprised at how many people have fibroids that have no trouble conceiving or having perfectly healthy pregnancies so I'm praying you'll be one of those girls when you're ready.

Because you're Faith. And this world really needs some Faith/Sean babies some day.

Feel free to complain to me all you want dudette. I'll listen. And I'll fed ex you some of your favorite candy. And comfy sweats, because who couldn't use another pair of those.

Shalyn said...

Aw Faith!!! I am so so sorry you're having to go through this. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. God has a plan and I know it's a good one. Love you. :)

Carlie said...

That would weigh heavily on my mind too! I hope you two are able to find a solution to the fibroids that won't have too many negative side effects. I'm happy to see you blogging again though :)

Carolyn said...

OH MY GOSH! First - glad you're back! Second - I'm so sorry that this happened to you! I sincerely hope they get this worked out for you! I'll be sending good thoughts your way!!!

Jenny said...

Glad to see you back! I will be praying for you! I have faith also! =)

And your right! You never really think about getting pregnant until you are told there is a possibility you can't! And then its ALL.YOU.THINK.ABOUT!!! I know this all too well!

thecoffeehouse said...

so so so glad to hear from you ... and i will be prayin and thinkin about ya! you're the best!

Married...with a Pup said...

Faith, you've been missed around here!! I'm so sorry to hear about your medical issue. Sounds like you have the perfect attitude about the outlook. Keep up your good spirits and all of us will be thinking about you:-)

doll said...

Welcome back. I missed ya! A silent reader like me is commenting excitedly today, because, you mentioned PRAYERS!!!!! You have the key there. I would be praying with you too.

Nancy said...

MIssed you so much. I will be praying for you, Faith. I know there is a plan for all of us & I do believe you will be a Mom one way or the other.
Praying that you feel really good today. :)

Jemima said...

Yeah Fibroids suck, but i am commenting to give you faith, i had (still do) the same problem with fibroids, but i was able to get pregnant and carry to term and even have a natural birth, you have said it, prayer is the key, it works and doctors don't have the final say God does.. blessings!

Marie said...

Faith, like everyone else, I'm really happy you're back! I missed you! (We all did!) I'm not happy about the fibroids, but I will keep you in my thoughts. I really hope that everything will work out for you, and I'm sure it will. Big hugs to you.

Emmett Katherine said...

I really hope for the bestcase senatio for you guys. I'm sorry you have to go through this :(
Hugs

K. Rock said...

I am hoping for the best for you guys.

YeamieWaffles said...

I'm sorry to hear that you've had to go through this sickness Faith, I really hope you come out of this okay. I'm glad to see you back to blogging too, I hope the break was beneficial for you and Sean.

Desi said...

I've missed you girl! Glad to see you back :) And I am sorry to hear about the fibroids. I'll be thinking and sending positive thoughts your way!! Everything will turn out ok :)

Mrs. Williams said...

Glad to see you back to blogging! Hoping everything with your health works out ok.

Jenna E said...

Happy you are back, you have been missed. I am sorry you are going through this and know you have a whole community of bloggers praying for you (sounds so dorky) but true :D

Lindsey said...

Wow, that is so scary and I am so sorry! You and Sean are are in my thoughts. Get well, boo. Make those fibroids your bitch!

LWLH said...

I will be praying for you girl.
That is such crappy news but I agree with Lindsey, you make those fibroids your bitch :)

Sunkissed and Southern said...

saying a little prayer for you girl!

Mandy said...

Praying for you Faith! Stay Positive!

Heather (GurleeGirrl) said...

Welcome back my friend! I'm glad that you are back. Any type of sickness sucks, especially when it starts to take controls of decisions you weren't ready to make or deal with. I do not know much about fibroids, but it doesn't sound good. Know that God is with you and is watching over you and will help guide you to make the right decision for you and Sean. I will definitely add you to my prayer list! I know sometimes it's hard to stay positive, but I know you will! Much love to you girly!

ruthy ann said...

your name resonates who you are as a person. Praying for your health and and hopeful heart Faith!

ms.composure said...

i have a friend that was just diagnosed with the same thing!!!
it is very scary to think about and go through!
i def hope you start to get better!!

http://infinitelifefitness.com
http://mscomposure.blogspot.com

Ashley said...

oh my dear faith! i've just added your sweet self to my prayer list! god is good and is working in you, lady! stay strong and positive :)
lots of hugs and kisses!!

Jessica Renee said...

I'm so sorry to hear about that but I"m SO happy to see you back to blogging. I'm sure it'll be a great way to release any of your worries/stress. We're all here for you and praying for you!!

CeCe @Frugalista Married said...

I have them too. My mama had 'em and my sister had 'em too. My sister did have a hard time staying prego due to hormones making them bigger. She had them removed, got pregnant then had a total hysterectomy b/c she only wanted the one kid. Her pregnancy was painful b/c of them but she did it and has my beautiful nephew now. Mj and I laugh that there is an alien in my tummy 'cause sometimes they just bulge. I'm learning to live with it. Well, e mail me if you have any other questions. I know it is scary but you will be fine and get through it.

Sarah said...

Love you and praying for you! I know God's best plan for you will come true!

redwhitebride said...

sending thoughts & prayer your way.. and lots of hugs & kisses!!! stay positive!

Chrissy + Nate said...

You have such a positive attitude: God has you in this! He will hold you throughout these next few months, etc. and will care for you because He loves you!

Tenecia said...

I am praying for you and sending all the love I have in my being to you!

T.

Tiffany said...

You are definitely in my prayers Faith! I think you have exactly the right attitude. Just keep living your life, have faith and everything will be fine. You'll get through this :)

Mrs. Pancakes said...

Definitely praying for you lady...sometimes life throws you curve balls but good things happens during the testing times....glad you are back to the blogging world:-)

Ashley @ stinkandschmoop.blogspot.com said...

Faith you are really the best. You are so full of positivity. Something to really be admired.

Girl,you will be just fine (not that you didn't already know this).. In the mean time big virtual hugs and prayers coming your way....

:)<3 Ash

Pegster said...

Thinking of you Faith and definitely keeping you in my prayers. My aunt had fibroids and was able to conceive and give birth to 2 beautiful children. I just love how honest you are about this issue that is bothering you.

Sharon said...

I too had fibroids. I had surgery that removed them without losing my ability to carry a baby. My daughter was born about 2 years after I had the fibroids removed. There is hope.

The Mrs. said...

So glad you're back! I seriously look forward to your blogs each week! Such an inspiration. I'm sorry for the "speedbumps" you have had recently... but so glad that you have an awesome supportive family and hubby! You are in my thoughts and prayers. Looking forward to catching up with you!

Jin said...

welcome back Faith, i missed seeing you around. I'm sorry to hear about your health. I will keep you and Sean in my prayers!

xo
jin

Brittany said...

Oh Fath, I am so sorry. I can't imagine how troubling this is for you. But you are a STRONG woman and you will make it through this. I'm glad Sean is such a solid support for you...and there are clearly tons of prayers being sent your way. Please keep us updated! Sending you hugs and happy thoughts pretty lady!

P.S. you will be an amazing momma one day! I have no doubt!

Christine said...

I'm so sorry you've been having to deal with this... you'll be in my prayers!

Monique said...

Faith, I am sorry to hear about the fibroids. I'm sure you, your family and your doctor will come up with the best possible procedure for you. You are very courageous to share this with us. Of course we are routing for you! You will be on my mind and in my prayers as well.

Megan said...

Oh my gosh, Faith, I am so sorry!! I will start praying for you. Just remember that God is faithful and He works all things for the good for those who love Him. I know that feeling, too...of thinking about being able to have a healthy baby a lot. You never really think about it until something adverse happens. I love you, friend.

Nic A said...

Faith, I'm praying for you girl. Please keep me posed on everything. Don't forget, "if God brings you to it, He will bring you through it!"

S3...SSH said...

A friend sent me a link to your blog, so I'm a first time visitor. I am going to share my story not to scare you but to let you know that I know what I'm talking about, so please bear with me.

I have battled fibroids for 10+ years. More than a dozen of the boogers have pitched a tent in my uterus. I'm sure you know by now that the qty of the invaders doesn't really matter. What matters is their individual/collective sizes and positioning. Have one sit on your bladder or bowels and the pain can drop you to your knees. But have an innocuous one in your uterine wall and you may never know it's even there. With that, some women are fortunate enough to have broids and never experience a single side effect - either during their cycles or pregnancies. My broids were such pests that I dubbed myself the modern day "woman at the well". They triggered monthly cycles that ran every 3 weeks & came along with the heavy sloughing, cramps etc. I've had more accidents, mostly really public, and missed more days of work, more celebrations, more outings, etc. than I care to recount. The excessive blood loss also meant that I had to get regular iron infusions to deal with the chronic anemia. I've had two myomectomies and one really scary ER visit in 07 that brought me within days of an emergency hysterectomy. I literally couldn't walk for 2 weeks: my broids were so swollen and so painful that my abdomen completely spazzed out on me. I thought my pelvis was gonna split in two. Fortunately, I had some serious prayer warriors on my side and was blessed with a reprieve. For about 2 years, my cycles were normal, at least for me, and the pain was gone. But then they flared up again last year...engaged but childless, I began reviewing my options. Another myomectomy likely would not have given me long term relief. Wanting to try for kids, a hysterectomy was out of the question and an ablation was just as bad that. Lastly, the magnetic resonance was too unproven to consider (plus, it wasn’t covered by insurance). Luckily, I knew of uterine fibroid emobilization (UFE) and Dr. John Lipman, http://www.atlii.com/index.cfm. I'd considered it off and on for years but never pulled the trigger.

Thankfully, I got my life back on September 29th, 2011. A few well-placed micro particles starved off the monsters in my belly :). My periods returned to a normal 28 day cycle with NO pain, NO sloughing and NO excessive flows. Even better, I haven't needed an iron transfusion since before the surgery. My energy and overall health went through the roof! My DEEPEST regret was that I did not pursue the UFE when I first heard of it, probably in 06 --- I hesitated time and time again. I urge you to visit the site and consider this option. You don’t have to go through the crap that broids bring. They can seriously TAKE.OVER.YOUR.LIFE. The babies will come but you need to be able to enjoy your life and your new marriage.

Bridget Hedger said...

You always make me laugh! I love you! I hope you get well and it's good you finally caught on to your body! Best of luck lady!

Samantha said...

Hey lady.. I know I am late to the game, but I wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you and praying for you guys! I have been really bad at commenting on posts, especially since I've started my new job and need to look productive, so excuse the delay, but I truly have been thinking about you and hope you are feeling better and get this all figure out..

Sommer J said...

prayer is powerful. i hope for the best for you and your husband. wishing genuinely all the best.

Love & Tangles said...

I got teary-eyed until I got to the bottom and said, "Amen!"

Had to catch myself up from today's post. You are certainly in my prayers!!!

Team Jacob said...

Hi there I am just seeing this..sending hugs to you.
A few years ago I was diagnosed with Fibroids, first they waited to see how/if they grew too quickly, they did so then we decided because we wanted to have kids we should have them taken out before they took over my whole innards! lol
So my gyno suggested a fake menopause....I asked what in the bloody hell?? lol fake menopause? lol
We decided to go with the shrinking and surgery.
They gave me one shot of Lupron 3 months before my surgery(lapo myomectomy) My period stopped and actually came back about 3-4 mths after the surgery
I have to say the hot flashes weren't terrible...it was just a heat rushing up my neck, ears and head but I know that differs for everyone.

We haven't been trying for kids but the dr said when we are ready make sure to come to him lol
So much has happened since the surgery(my husband almost died and the hospital costs went through the roof) so baby planning had to be put on hold
and the last time I saw my gyno he said a few tiny fibroids were back but not to worry...of course I was very sad but my gyno and hubs convinced me to not stress as they were very very tiny.
If there is any information you need or just want to talk about it all let me know.

sharon

Kathy C. said...

Hey Faith,
I am just now getting back to following all my favs blogs and I went back in history with yours. I had no idea you we diagnosed with fibroids. I can only imagine how you feel, but I also know you have a huge audience of family and friends who are praying for you. Including myself. I'll be praying as you make a decision on how to deal with them. This definitely isn't going to bring you down... I know it! :) {Hugs}