Thursday, July 19, 2012

And Then I Got To Thinking


Lately, I’ve been hearing around in blog land that people are tired of reading about people’s perfect lives.

And I’ve always just moved on to the next post because, well, it is just not my cup of tea.

We all are aware there is no such thing as a perfect life. I mean, we don’t actually look at someone’s perfect blog and say “Wow, she has such a perfect life”, do we?

I admire many bloggers but I’ve never said, “Wow, she has a perfect life”. Because I’m wise enough to know that no one has the perfect life.

We all struggle. We all have bad days. After all, we are humans. The least perfect on earth.

Is it OK if a blogger may only want to share the good? Of course.

I don’t know about you but I cannot stand Debbie Downers. If I come across a blog where I see that a person has vented or had multiple temper tantrums I quickly click the X.

Why? Because I like good over bad. I always have.

Does this mean I’m in denial? Not exactly.

I don’t want to read about how many fights you have with your husband (too sad)
I don’t want to read about how disrespectful your kids are (too bad)
I don’t want to read about how your friends don’t care about you (too annoying)

I just don’t.

Does that mean that I don’t know that in the real world that does happen? I know it does. But I don’t have to read about it.

Just like I don’t like to watch the news to hear about a young child who was taken from their bedroom.

All of this to say, that when I am 90 years old looking at my blog, I want to smile and say, “Wow, I really had an amazing life. I lived a happy life. I loved, I laughed, I cared.”

Besides, as human we tend to remember the bad over the good. It is easier.

So I am going to have my blog remember the good because 90 year old Faith wants to know how good things were, and not how many fights she had with her husband over locking the door.

My life is not perfect. But my blog will be. For me.

45 comments:

Crissy B. said...

Love the new blog design, Faith!

And I completely agree with you on this. I try really hard to keep my blog positive because there's already so much negative in this world! I enjoy reading other positive, uplifting blogs as well!

PrettyPhysicist said...

Amen sister!

Jenny Strickland said...

Great post! I agree with you 100%!

Travel_The_World said...

Amen! The blogger has already lived through the bad so why re-hash it? Like I always tell my hubby when I have had a bad day at work "I don't feel like telling you all about it cause then I'll get upset all over again!"
I like to see the good, happy and fun stuff! It makes me smile and forget (temporarily) about the other things going on.

Carlie said...

I much prefer reading happy things too. We have the news on all day at work and some of the stories can be so depressing!

Heather (GurleeGirrl) said...

100% on the mark! That's why I love you! Your smile is contagious - always works on me.

Mrs. H said...

II tend to gravitate more towards a persons personality that comes through their blog. I've read some blogs where the person is happy all the time but just from their writing style lack any sense of personality that attracts me and I've read blogs from Debbie Downers that are also the same. I would say for me the person's personality has to come through in their blog else I'm not interested. My blog is about my real life and I get that some people would only like to share the good as long as I see value in what they're saying. At the end of the day it boils down to what I can relate to and if their personality seems interesting to me.
Does that make sense?

Emily said...

Great post, girl! I think these Debbie Downer bloggers should probably focus more on their own blogs, rather than worry about everyone else... Maybe they can focus of their own happiness too!

Faith said...

@MrsH: I understand completely what you are saying.

At Home with the Hansens said...

I could not agree more, Faith! Is life perfect? Absolutely not. But this just isn't the forum to vent life's dirty laundry. It's a place to share, inspire, laugh and like you said, remember the fun, happy times. I don't need to share every bad day or fight with my husband to make others feel better that my life isn't perfect. They're just going to have to deal with those insecurities some other way :) Have a fabulous day, girl!!

ruthy ann said...

I totally agree...there is nothing wrong with having a bad day, but I really don't want to read about it every day--there is already so much negativity in the world!

CeCe said...

I have looked at a blog and thought...wow, their life seems perfect...but I immediately realize that it can't be because nobodies is AND because the person probably leaves a lot out. I try to keep my blog positive. I admit I have an anonymous semi private debbie downer blog though! Hey, I need to vent like everyone else and being a writer I need to write it out. I realize that there is a place for everything and that is why I keep it separate.

Faith said...

@CeCe: I don't have an issue with people having blogs that they vent it out. Some days those blogs are just what I need. But just not everyday. My problem is with people hating on these good feel blogs because they do not like that they only show their lives as being perfect. I don't understand why adults can't understand that life is not perfect so who cares if someone portrays their life as such.

This doesn't mean that I only read read feel good blogs. Just that I prefer feel good blogs more than reading a bitch fest.

Faith said...

I just don't enjoy reading from other bloggers that their lives are so much more real and others are so fake because they air it all out for strangers to read.

Rachel Andre said...

I couldn't agree more with you Faith! I think I like to read blogs with down to earth relatable people who aren't afraid to show their human side. What's the point of having a negative blog- what will I learn from it? How to be a hater? Nah, I'll pass!

Brandi @ Home Team Dreams said...

Love this Faith! I couldn't agree more.

YeamieWaffles said...

I agree with this so much Faith, which is why I'm sorry if my blog makes me come across as a bit of a Derek Downer haha, I don't like to upset people but at the same time it's a journal and it's just an added bonus if others read.

With that said I love the positive vibes that I can get every time I see you've posted. You and Sean are part of an amazing, cohesive, love filled marriage and you're always having fun and things and it's great to know that I'm very unlikely to read a post of yours that's complaining or something. I also know however that you've seen the nasty side of life from what you've told me in various comments so if anyone has a problem with your blog and bitches that you act too perfect or something then they're seriously wrong.

Sorry for the long comment, this post just really got me thinking.

Lacey said...

Well said girl - I couldn't agree more although I don't mind if the odd time someone posts something to vent (makes me feel like they are real people, you know?) but I also feel like there is a time and a place for everything. I have vented about little stuff in my life on my blog a time or two, but there are certain things I would NEVER vent about in a public place like my blog because, frankly, it's nobody's business and is way too personal. I agree that whenever I come across a blog and every single post is a downer post, I stop reading (I've had to do this a couple of times).

ps, that picture is GORGEOUS of you two! And I love that dress (or skirt/tank?) So cute!

twiggy@thedirtlife said...

I kind of loved this....ALMOST as much as your new blog design. Faith, it's beautiful!

I think you make some really good points, I make an effort on my blog too to mention the good. I think that it's healthy!!

OH, AND....I just noticed that my blog is under the ones you "stalk" THAT JUST MADE MY WHOLE DAY!!!!

Makaila said...

Faith, thank you for saying this. I am 110% in agreement. DUH. NO ONE has a perfect life. Just cause someone doesn't post the trials and struggles of their life.. does not mean they are being fake! I too have read 10+ too many posts about people complaining about bloggers only blogging the "perfect side of their lives". I'm with you. I want to remember the good. I don't need bad moments documented.

And, I refrain from watching the local news exactly for the reasons you listed- too sad and depressing! Exactly the reason I refrain from reading debbie downer blogs.

Stesha said...

I LOVE this!! you are so right! Blogs can be anything you would like them to be. Your blog is perfect and so are you :)

xxS

Christine said...

I couldn't agree with you more! love love this post. and no, no one's life is perfect but I whole heartedly believe that it is up to us to choose what to spend our energy focusing on. love your outlook on life :)

tini-tani said...

Hello! Great blog! The last post is very interesting and beautiful! Let's follow each other, if you agree, then let me know!)))

Papi's Girl said...

I feel our blogs are our own personal journals that we allow the world to read. So if we only want to talk about the good that is fine. We will attract the readers that want to read that. I am personally not concerned about what anyone thinks about my blog. It is about me and my journey. If it doesn't interest you then it's not for you to read. That's it! I can only be true to myself. You keep doing what you are doing because you put a smile on lots of peoples faces. :) I like your perfect little blog. They only hate because they can't relate...LOL!

Brittney Denman said...

Preach it!!

Nancy said...

Agree! I don't ever post how Kenlee & Logan argue at times because when they read back, I want them to remember the fun things they did or our good times when they were little!!
You are right, nothing is perfect. If I vented about ups & downs all the time I would bore myself :)

Kathy C. said...

Totally agree! There's enough negativity in the world.. why blog it too?!

Love & Tangles said...

I completely agree! I feel like that with my facebook page. My single friends may think life is perfect and even used to want me to confide my problems. Uh, NO, lol!!!! Nothing is perfect but what better way to practice being grateful for the good than by professing it everywhere. :-)
I AM IN LOVE WITH YOUR NEW BLOG DESIGN AND LAYOUT. PURE LOVE.

GLAMOUR said...

I love your blog as is Faith, and whatever you write, I will read. You come across as a very friendly person who truly loves life and all it has to offer! :)

I also feel that you do not have to justify the contents of YOUR blog to anyone else!! Everyone is free to write about or omit whatever they choose to.

Blog on girl!

Brittany said...

I couldn't agree more Faith...while sometimes blogs can be too "bubbly" (I'm guilty of this, I know), it's supposed to be our escape...a place that we can sit back and enjoy. No-one wants to read depressing posts! Life is hard enough as it is.

ps Gorgeous picture of you two!

Tiffany said...

Well, no one wants to read about all of anyone's problems. The "perfect" posts are fun to read!

Whitney@Keeping Up with the Cyperts said...

Amen sister!

Bridget Hedger said...

Word! Most of the time the Debbie downers are often too personal..yeah it's kinda like a journal buuuut let's all be happy here :)

Melissa said...

I love this post! I personally choose to keep my blog posts positive because I too don't like Debbie Downers. Also? I don't personally want the entire world to know about fights I may have with my husband or a rough day with my son. Do Jeff and I argue over dumb stuff sometimes? Of course. Do I have bad days with Landon where all I want is for Jeff to come home and take over? Absolutely. Who really wants to read that stuff though? Like you, I'd rather remember the good times :)

The Mrs. said...

Amen!!!!

Pegster said...

Faith - this is so well said. This is probably one of the reasons why I love reading your blog so much. I am a glass half full kind of person and I have to agree, I can only take so much in the debbie downer department. I just love to see people that are happy and let's face it you don't have to tell us that nobody's life is perfect. Venting is totally ok, complaining every post about life, hmmmm that blog won't be on my reading list for sure.

PS - I love that pic of you guys. You look hot.

Married...with a Pup said...

Can I get an AMEN!! I seriously love this Faith! It was so well written. I have to say that while I'm trying to push myself with being a bit more honest on my blog, I completely agree with you!!

Tricia said...

And that is totally okay. I can tolerate the occasional venting post, but when the blogger complains in every single post, I can not get on board with that.
The thing is, like you said, everyone has some sad and bad stuff that happens occasionally. But ultimately, life is good. And in the end, in my opinion, it's important to try and pull the good out so you can stay positive and move on in that direction.
Great post.

LWLH said...

Loved this post.
And completely agree. Sure, I might have a few Debbie Downer posts sprinkled here and there but for the most part I like to keep my blog upbeat because that's how I choose to live my life.

Desi said...

Loved this. Many times I contemplate venting on my blog or busting out a really angry post about my friends or something, but like you I try to keep it positive because no one wants to be around a debbie downer all the time. But no one wants to be around miss perfect all the time either. Gotta find a healthy balance, and just be real. I think being real takes precedence over everything. If you are having a rough day, don't sugar coat it. Maybe tell your bloggy friends. But don't let your posts always be about that! Preach it, sista!

Emmett Katherine said...

I feel like this should be posted somewhere for everyone to read! I totally have your outlook 100%. I mean, it's common sense that everyone has struggles (some more than others) even if their blog is positive. I like the 90/10 rule, it's a good balance.

Also I LOVE the pic that goes with this post (and the hilarious one liner ending) I hope it's framed and on display somewhere in your house.

Nellie said...

:) Maybe I should stop venting as much as I do, but I agree people don't have perfect lives. Sometimes when things get hard my gut reaction is to write, if not for venting but just to see if anybody is out there with me :) I suppose I should rethink that...

toi said...

great piece. i totally agree that in life people tend to remember the bad times and the good time are limited in memory lane. just like you i know nobody has the perfect life but the good time are the best to recall and because the 99 old TOI would like to see the glass half full :)

Ashley said...

I'll be honest...would you expect any different? LOL

No one likes a debbie downer, but I appreciate someone who's willing to be complete honest on their blog and share a not-so-postive thing going on in their life. I've come across lots of posts where someone is sharing feelings over a breakup, faith or moving away. I guess because I've gone through sooo many changes in the last year I can relate and it makes me feel a little better I'm not alone.

On the other hand I'm not a fan of debbie downers and try my best to be positive polly on my blog :)

Sommer J said...

LOVELY!!!!