Monday, April 11, 2016

Perspective.

I hope you all had wonderful weekends. Mine started off a little shaky and I’m able to laugh now but at the time it was not funny.

My college girlfriend invited Sean and I for her daughter’s 2nd birthday party and because Sean is from her hometown we decided to go for the weekend and spend some time with my in-laws.

I packed my clothes and reminded Sean several times to take my luggage to the car since I cannot carry it. He said he’ll get right on it and told me to go the car.

Keep in mind that to get to Sean’s hometown it takes 4 hours via car and this was going to be my first long car ride since being hospitalized. It was not an easy car ride but I made it!

We get to my in-law’s house and Sean is bringing in our belongings from the car and he says, "Faith, did you bring your luggage"? You should have seen my face. I’m sure you know the expression I had on my face. Anger began to take control of my body because all I had to wear were the comfortable gym attire that I wore for the car ride to ensure that I didn’t put any unnecessary strain to my body.

Now, I’m really trying to work on a more zen-like attitude. Not letting the little things bother me, etc. But guys, it was hard. I was so pissed because I had told him 3 times not to forget my luggage and decided not to say it a 4th time because I didn’t want to nag.

In order to have my attitude behave herself I went to the bathroom and locked myself in. I counted probably to 125 before I felt my body begin to relax. And then I proceeded to have a conversation with myself.

This might have concerned Sean because he knocked on the bathroom door hesitantly and asked me if I was OK. Because I really wanted to yell at him in private I opened the door and let him in and he began to apologize. He wanted me to give him a list of everything I needed and he would head to the store and get it all for me.

So I have this thing where I do not want someone to apologize to me until I’m no longer mad. I was still heated but with him apologizing it is almost like beating a dead horse. What else do I want now? What else can I do? I can’t scream or let out anymore anger because you’ve apologized, so annoying!

I began to tell him all the things I needed and reminded him that I’m black (LOL) so he was going to have to do some research prior to heading to the store to ensure that the hair/makeup products I used was even available. He thought it was a silly comment until he called all the stores that carry hair/makeup products to inquire if any carried Castor Oil and not one of them did. A few did not even know what Castor Oil was.

Sean had to drive 30 minutes from his hometown to get the items I needed. To get hair products and makeup for my skin tone is pretty difficult in a small town where Sean grew up. They just don’t have it and he really learned last weekend that my luggage is very, very important.

When he got to the store that carried Castor Oil he proceeded to Facetime me to show me if the stuff he was looking at was OK to bring back. He was not able to get some things on the list but it ended up being OK. And I won't lie, he did pretty good considering the situation.

After I had laid down for an hour (body needed a break from the car ride) we went to dinner with his family where Sean convinced me to go shopping. In a town this small I’m sure people usually do online shopping because it was difficult to find clothes that I felt comfortable spending money on. Not my style, nope, no way, was a lot of the comments that came out of my mouth.

Finally, I found two maxi dresses that were perfect and then we went and bought me new sneakers. When we laid down to sleep I told Sean that I was a little bit happy that he left my luggage at home because I got new items out of it.

I’m glad I counted to 125 and took control of my reaction because right now as I sit to write this I realize that the situation brought no difference to my life. I am still happy. I still love Sean. My body is still intact.

If I had said hurtful things to Sean in the heat of the moment for something that really wasn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things, I would be feeling pretty bad right now. Perspective is so huge for me right now.

So when I’m angry I’ll count to 125, talk myself down, consider if in a week I’ll still be angry about the situation, and then react. I am going to find that most things really are just small things. But seriously, no apologizing until I’ve let all the anger out of my system! ;)

13 comments:

Highly Favored said...

This was a funny post to read. I can just imagine the tension in the atmosphere at that time. Feel sorry for Sean, poor thing he tried though.

I'm still learning the "perspectives" lessons and I've grown and still have some more growing to do.

Jumi said...

It's so true to take time to think before reacting. So many times I react and in a few minutes I already regret it. I may need to count to 225 because I get really angry when I'm upset. So thankful you are doing well and enjoying life.

Jumi said...

It's so true to take time to think before reacting. So many times I react and in a few minutes I already regret it. I may need to count to 225 because I get really angry when I'm upset. So thankful you are doing well and enjoying life.

Maureen S. said...

This is so true! Ugh, I completely understand the urge to vent my frustration, but I know that it will only hurt someone's feelings and then I'll feel bad later too! For instance, yesterday, hubby left a can of soda half full on the nightstand, which was next to a lamp that is not sturdy. I am always such a nag about him drinking only half of a bottle and not discarding the leftovers. Well, low and behold, I didn't nag this time and the soda spilled everywhere. I was so annoyed and had to walk away, but I was angry. I went to the bathroom too and was able to calm down after a long while. My hubby didn't come to me though- lol, poor guy was too sad with his puppy dog eyes. He was being so quiet and even washing dishes and cleaning. So I knew I did the right thing by not lashing out in frustration! It really helps to just lock yourself away and think about the big picture. :)

Crystal said...

I am JUST. LIKE. THAT. Don't apologize to me til I am ready! I was reading that in your blog and chuckling hysterically... When my husband asked why, I told him I was not alone :) That being said, I could stand to do a little counting myself sometimes, so I may let you be a good influence to me on that. So thankful you are doing better! xoxoxox

Desiree Macke said...

I had to giggle... This sounds exactly like something Scott would do!
Serious props for talking yourself down. I'm not sure I could have done that.

Joy B. E. said...

Oh wow. This is definitely a good lesson to learn because I am reactive like that. I need to do better. I'll have to try your approach next time :-).

Christelle said...

And now...you can just laugh about it! Gotta give Sean props for all the effort he put into getting you new stuff! You've got a good one right there, Faith (not perfect, but who is, hahah)! :)


Cece said...

"reminded him that I’m black (LOL)"--I did laugh out loud reading that part! When I saw your snap at first I thought he forgot his own luggage and I was thinking-dang but not the biggest deal since men are easy. But then I saw that it was yours! OMG. I would be so upset too. There are just things we need to have in order to feel "right." You are so good to not have blown up at him. I would probably have to triple that count time. At least!! I will take this as proof that men need to be nagged! : )

Law_Fal said...

Girl i laughed so hard about the castor oil lmao hilarious!!! I need to try that countdown because I get enraged sooo quickly!

Eesh said...

I laughed so much while reading this! Counting to 125...I'll definitely keep that in mind.

I'm glad that everything worked out...now all I have to remember is, What would Faith do? :P

Have a beautiful weekend sugar!


XO |EESH

Kathy C said...

lol... well... you did everything right reminding him "3" times (which is the magic repeat number for men) and you did good by knowing you needed to calm down before engaging with him. But I understand the frustration. He's a doll for going store to store to replenish the items you did not have. :)

Emily Jane said...

Just goes to show you how awesome your husband is ;) Although, truthfully I would've probably had to calm down in a separate room too. LMBO @ I had to remind him that I'm black. You're hilarious.