Wednesday, November 2, 2016

I get by with a little help from my friends ♥

I don’t have many friends in PA but if you told me three years ago that I would meet these two and feel like I’ve known them for years, I would not have believed you. I'll admit that I was one of the ones obnoxiously singing, "No new friends, no new friends" the loudest. And when those new friends want to celebrate your birthday I must admit that it makes you feel all sorts of special.

As much as moving to Pennsylvania benefited Sean's career, I think it has benefited me as well. I’m living in a house that I really love. It feels like home to me and when I walk through the front doors after a long day I immediately feel settled. I have a job that I truly enjoy, that is less stressful than my last and at a place that makes me feel appreciated. And I’ve made new girlfriends that I really needed in this stage in my life. It is like God purposely changed the directions of our life because He knew that my path was going to be a little different than the world I was previously living in. He placed me in a new place where I could be comfortable with the path my life was leading. I hope that makes sense.

In my "old" life, I was constantly going to baby showers and kid birthday parties. How hard it would be right now to be in that place where I don’t have a kid(s) to bring to functions. How left out and out of place I would feel with my closest friends. Now, I can’t make it to game night, etc, because I live so far away and not because I don’t want to be reminded that I’m childless. I don't have to fall out of relationship with my best girlfriends and I could truly miss them that when we catch up, we catch up. I’ve been given the opportunity to truly enjoy the pictures of all my dear friends getting together with their beautiful children from afar.

Cinthia has no kiddos and wants no children. I don’t think I knew any woman in my life who did not want children. She was/is the first. And I remember when she first told me I drilled her with questions because how was this possible? But she knows what she wants and told me that children is not one of them. I know, how did our winery visit make me want to ramble about this?

Well, our conversations at the winery made me realize how thrilled I am, not only that we moved to PA but that I met a person that I have so much in common with in this stage of my life. We are both in our 30s, I’m one month older than her which she loves to remind me, we don’t have children, we both love pitbulls, brunch dates, shopping, Netflix, wine and social media.

That's all the fluff but we discuss important things too, like politics, which we both agree on which is great because we can still like each other, lol. But seriously that's important right now! We never run out of things to talk about. I don’t have to attempt to understand not having a good nights rest because baby woke up in the middle of the night. I don’t have to understand breastfeeding, I don’t have to understand the pains of going back to work after maternity leave. I don't have to understand weight gain that didn't come solely from extra cheese and wine. We can blame it on not having the strength to say no to cheese fries and skipping that workout.

Our winery visit was a little different this time around because we were indoors as it was chilly that day. It, however, did not take away from the fun we had that day. It also helped to make me feel extremely grateful to have friends I can rely on; old and new.

IMG_0582
IMG_0579 IMG_0587
IMG_0591
IMG_0590 IMG_0597
IMG_0581
IMG_0593 IMG_0596
IMG_0610
IMG_0619 IMG_0616
IMG_0624
IMG_0633

Margaret worked earlier that day but she met up with us at Cinthia's house later in the evening for us to go out for dinner and dancing. She surprised me with a spider web cake which she apologized for because the cake had shifted on the ride over. Not a big deal to me, it was delicious. Why she thought to apologize is beyond me but she has this thing about giving perfect cakes. We proceeded to have such a great night and I'm so glad that these two are in my life! ♥

IMG_0648 IMG_0642

Life may be different years from now but right now, at this moment, I am so thankful that I’ve been planted in a place where I can grow and appreciate the turn of events versus feel sadness that my life isn’t where I thought it would be at 34. Sean asked me Sunday afternoon, "What is it that y'all talk about?" I could not help but take a moment to think about it. I replied, "Everything and nothing". Life is a crazy thing but there’s nothing greater than sharing a bottle of wine while laughing hysterically with a great friend(s) to remind you that life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get.

10 comments:

Emily Jane said...

I'm so glad you met her <3 I know how hard of a time you were having when you first moved there. It's a blessing to have a girlfriend you talk about everything and nothing with.

I'm sorry, but I'm going to say it, going to baby showers and kid birthday parties BLOW even when you have a kid, LOL. The same longing you had for children I had/have to be married (although I can't act right for nothing even in a relationship LOL). I get jealous/resentful/bitter. I'm not ashamed to admit that. Longing can be a beast... but sometimes your blessings come other ways.

Your cake looks amazing.

Emily Jane said...

PS: your pictures are gorgeous !

Pegster said...

How awesome that you met friends that share your interest and are in the same place in life. Even if you stay in your area, it's hard when your friends are not in the same place. I mean I love my kids and all but I am sure my friends without kids are pretty tired of coming to birthday parties and non-stop kid events.

I actually found that I am attracted to people that are going through a similar phase in life right now.

It's amazing how we have plans in our heads of where we want to be then life shows us different plans and they are even better that what we've dreamed of.

NikG said...

Having friends who are at common "stages" in life is essential! I went through the same thing, but in reverse! (Had to find more mommy friends) Anyway, happy birthday!

Desiree Macke said...

God has an uncanny way of giving us exactly what we need, when we need it.
It's so great that you have such wonderful friends!

Cece @Mahogany Drive said...

You may not know this...but I'm in the Cinthia camp. Um, can you ask her to start a blog so we can be friends? LOL. Glad you made a friend that will help you through this time. No matter what your reason for not having kids to bring along it is hard feeling left out. This is the stage of lives our friends are in and when you are not part of it...well, it feels kind of lonely so I totally get you on that.

Maureen S. said...

I'm glad you found friends that understand you Faith. When I was in your shoes last year, I had no girlfriends who "got it" and it was pretty painful. I'm not sure whether I handled it the best, but it got pretty tiring always wearing a smile and attending baby showers, etc. God knows just what we need and when our lives get shaken up, it's good to just wait it out and see the awesomeness of what He will do. Now you've got more great friends, a beautiful home and great job! So much goodness! :) Happy Friday.

Joy B. E. said...

I enjoyed reading this post. My take away is that God puts people in your life just when you need them.

I am an "older mom" and recall felling left out when all my friends were getting married and having kids. I am definitely not in the same place as most of my college friends when it comes to family dynamics but I am OK with that. I have gained new friends that I can relate to.

Oh and I love that you're back taking pics :-)!

Brooke Lauren said...

I am so glad I read this post because I can relate to how you feel in so many ways! I'm 25 and newly married to a deployed sailor and every single one of my friends either has a child, just gave birth, or is pregnant. I find it difficult to relate to them and it has me feeling down lately. I long for childless friends. I dream of having my own family one day, but it would be nice to find a friend to coast through these childless years with. I am happy for you that you found friends that you can bond with!

Nic A said...

I'm so glad you're happy, Faith!