Monday, June 27, 2016

Appreciation - Part Two

Start here for part one.

I called Colleen (she uses housekeeping services regularly) because I was so annoyed and she reassured me that since it was their first time to take it easy. That no one would clean my house the way I do and that the next time they came to tell them exactly what I wanted and to inspect when they left. I agreed.

During that week, I noticed how Sean was very particular about picking up after himself. Dishes were in the dishwasher, counters wiped down, all these things he hardly did without a reminder in the past. Things that seriously would annoy me but I told myself to choose my battles. When I asked him about it he said that he had to keep the house "kept up" until they come back because if not he'd spend a lot of time cleaning on the weekends. He finally got it because it would affect him!

When he wasn’t responsible for keeping a tidy house he did not notice how clean the house was either but you best believe that when the cleaning people came he would comment how clean the house was! It was a little annoying if I'm to be honest. But now he was aware of the effort it took to keep our house cleaned and how costly it was for others to do it for us.

Yes, I didn’t and still don’t mind doing housework. In fact, I enjoy doing it. I never did it for Sean to tell me how great I was, I actually did not even realize that I wanted Sean to appreciate it. But let me tell you how eye opening it was for Sean to see and experience everything I did for us on a daily basis. I also began to appreciate Sean more because what a patient man I married! I would have smacked myself several times if I could but he treated me with so much love and patience. And when he would grocery shop and buy non-organic produce, the wrong items or things we seriously did not need (I must admit that I miss all the kiddy cereal he bought when he was grocery shopping, haha), I would keep my cool and tell him how much I appreciated everything he was doing. He needed to see my appreciation that way in the future he will show his. Everyone wants to feel appreciated.

This experience taught me that my husband was willing to help.

This experience taught my husband that I made life easier for him. This experience actually made him say, I had no idea everything you did around here. It taught him how rude it was for me to just clean something and then he spill something and not wipe it up right away without a reminder. It taught him how much money it cost for us to have cleaning people.

As soon as I was well enough I cancelled the cleaning people because I really enjoy cleaning. I know, I'm insane. Colleen thinks I'm insane but it’s almost therapeutic for me. He’ll still do the outside and I the inside but now the reminders for him to pick up after himself is slim to none. I honestly can't remember the last time I asked him to do something that he should already know to do and that really feels good.

The thing is that if it were not for this horrible experience we would have continued our ways that we did not even know needed changing. Who knows if I would have eventually become resentful or if Sean would have gotten frustrated with the "nagging". Who really knows? But the appreciation level we have for each other now is at an all-time high. What we bring to the table means so much more than it ever has. And well, all it took was me being unable to do for him, let alone myself.

5 comments:

Emily Jane said...

While I cant say I'm happy that you had to go through everything you did, I am happy that more than one thing good/great came out of it. Its amazing what we get used to and take for granted. I'm glad you two have come to appreciate each other more then ever!

Pegster said...

You are crazy for loving to clean but I guess the cleaning people never put stuff away the way you would :). I like having someone clean because they do a great job with the bathrooms, the oven and the floors and those I hate doing.

So glad that you got the help and it made you be less mad at Sean, also good thing you had this experience and Sean got to appreciate all that you do around the house.

Joy B. E. said...

I love this candid post. I know exactly what you mean. It is only human to feel that way. I am also the same and keep praying that God works on me to do better.

As for the cleaning service, get another one! Don't settle for foolery. You are paying way too much for that!

We have someone come in once a month and it is very well spent. If there are any areas I feel need more attention, I ALWAYS mention it so that she has an opportunity to clean it. We've had the same lady the last 3-years and LOVE HER!

Cece @Mahogany Drive said...

I WISH WISH I had a cleaning lady. It's not even really that I HATE cleaning that much. I don't enjoy it, but it's the time I lose on my weekends doing that and not other things that I don't like. I can't justify spending the money when it's something I can do so I'm it for the foreseeable future. What a lovely opportunity for you to learn something about each other and walk in each others shoes a bit. Men want credit when they do things, but often forget about the things we do regularly that happen seamlessly. My husband only had to clean once while I was out of commission so although he had to rest and take a "lunch break" at the halfway point, I don't he really got it the way Sean did.

Law_Fal said...

Crazy but I love cleaning. It's like my therapy.