Thursday, March 14, 2013

Questions & Answers - Part 3

MARRIAGE

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Who is your marriage mentor? The couple you looked up to that shaped how you saw marriage life being like?

That would be my parents. They will be married for 39 years this July. They have taught me that when you choose to love someone every single day, your marriage can go the distance.

They have taught me that it isn’t always going to be easy but if you place God in the center you will get through it.

They have taught me that it is OK to have arguments and to not always agree but to never go to bed angry.

They have taught me that it is possible to be apart but wanting to be and do everything together is not sad.

Because of their examples I treat my marriage with high regards. I want to be the best for Sean. I want to love on him, I want to treat him well, and I want to be his lifelong partner. So although, it isn’t always sunshine and roses in our household, I know that he knows that I love him with everything I got. That he knows that I will fight for him if times ever got rough. Because when I said, I do, I meant forever.

What’s the first thing that you can remember that is so small now but was so big then that you bumped heads with as a newlywed (what side of the bathroom was yours?, etc)

A few months after we got married, Sean starting saying he wanted to look for a house. And I just didn’t get it. I was like, why? I’m fine renting. He gave all these pros and all I could see were the cons. We would have to fix everything ourselves and we all know that we aren’t that handy married couple.

So I hesitantly agreed to look with him. The thing was I did nothing to find out what I really wanted in a home. All I told Sean was that I wanted a house on the smaller side that way I didn’t have to deal with too much house. I wish I could go back and change that time because it should have been an exciting time for the both of us. Sean was so excited and I wasn’t. It wasn’t until we actually got an offer accepted that it hit me that wait, I’m suppose to be thrilled right now. If I could go back, I would change that. I would do research and find out what we both really wanted, what would be great for our famiy because I let Sean do that on his own. So I’m excited for the next time we go house shopping. Poor Sean wouldn’t even know what hit him, ha.

Do you want a big family? If you don't want a big family, do you feel guilty about wanting a small family?

How many kids do you two hope for?


I want two. Sean wants one. I guess, we’ll see what I think after the first one but I have this crazy thing in my mind about having one child and I guess I might as well share it now. So yeah, I’m crazy but I often think about how blessed I am that I have three sisters. I know that one day we will lose our parents but it gives me this sense of peace because I know that there will be three other people in this world who know how I’m feeling. Not the whole, I’m sorry for your loss but really feeling the loss. That brings me comfort. If we only have one child (by choice) I worry that, that child would never have that comfort. No one will ever really understand what he/she is going through. Because of that I can’t have one. Sean said, who thinks like that? Yeah, I guess, I do.

I don’t feel guilty about wanting a small family at all. I just think that it will give us both time to be the type of parents that we want to be.

Where do you see yourself and Sean in say ten years time? Do you imagine that you'll live in a different place or with a couple of children or in a different career?

Crazy to think that in 10 years I’ll be 40! In 10 years, I imagine that I’ll have two children. That we will no longer live in our starter home. I believe that we’ll have another rental property. Quite possibly three at that time. Career wise, I imagine I will have more responsibilities. I’ll be the big honcho at my current company ;). I imagine that Sean will be successful with his dream to own multiple rental properties and that he will be working for himself. I imagine that we will still be in love with each other and our lives. I imagine that life will be so good that I’ll be thanking God everyday for all the big and small things He continues to do for us.

As for where we will live, I have no idea. Sean always talks about moving somewhere new. I'm open to it but I love where we live right now.

*****

P.S. I had no idea that so many of you thought I was tall! It's the shoes/heels I wear that made you all think I was tall. The nickname I was given in my sorority was Stiletto so I guess that explains that :).

25 comments:

Kathy C. said...

Seriously in love with this Q&A's!! Ok, couple things... I thought you were taller too. ha. Glad we're close to the same height! I"m excited for your future house hunting already! You're going to love it! I feel ya on the only child thing... I actually think the same thing. And the more I dwell on it the more kids I see us having...then I see a mini-van and I immediately drop the entire thought haha! So much can happen in 10 years... and it flies by! Hope your dreams come true though!!

Kirsten Wiemer said...

girl, not sure why you just look tall, how tall is sean then?
I can't wait to see you in 10 years :)

K

Heather said...

I love this post! I used to think about having just one child, but I definitely think the same way you do about what it would be like for that child when losing Stephen and I. Watching my mom and her brother care for my aging grandparents is another reason I'm thinking I actually might want to have two someday. I can't imagine my mom trying to handle all the difficulties on her own without my uncle being there to also help out.

Carolyn said...

You got some GREAT questions! :) Love this!!

Danielle said...

We are on the same level in so many ways. You're reasoning for wanting more than one child is my same reasoning. I don't want Jordan to be alone! Ashish is an only child an I have a brother but Jordan doesn't have any cousins (and probably never will). It's kinda sad when you think about it. In the meantime, he has enough personality for two kids. LOL!

McKenna Ryan said...

What a fun post! I love learning a little bit more about you! xx. McKenna Lou
www.lynnandlou.com

Desiree Macke said...

We think alike when it comes to kids. Two sounds just right. :)

lori said...

okay, first off... i love that your parents are your mentors! we are the same way, my parents have the best relationship and i want ours to be just the same.

as for kids... i know EXACTLY what you are talking about... my husband is an only child {and an only grandchild} and i cannot express the burden it puts on him. {also because his parents lean WAY too much on him for pretty much everything, but that's besides the point}. you would never, ever hear him complain because he is a stand up guy, but it is really hard.

also, another side of that is it's really sad to hear him talk about how lonely his childhood was. he grew up incredibly quick because he was always surrounded by adults and never had a playmate. again, i believe part of this falls under the "nurturing" aspect, and not every only child feels this way- but for this reason alone, when i met him he wanted at LEAST two kids.

Adrienne said...

"They have taught me that it is possible to be apart but wanting to be and do everything together is not sad."

YES! What amazing parents/couple to look up to!
That is exactly how I feel and hate the "haters" out there who think we're nuts.

And now you got me feeling guilty for only wanting one child! LOL!!!!

Oh well. I forgive you ;)

Christelle said...

I love your outlook on marriage! I'm always envious of those who had parents with a great marriage to look up to. My parents divorced when I was young and never really got along. I've definitely learned what NOT to do, ha!

YeamieWaffles said...

I kind of understand why you'd want your child to have a sibling for reasons even beyond that Faith but at the end of the day it's ultimately between you and Sean. So long as one day you'll have at least one because you guys are going to be absolutely wonderful parents!

Emily Gilbert said...

I'm an only child. sometimes I think it'd be fun to have a sibling to share it all with, and another part of me could care less LOL. Dom will probably be the only on my side (he already has a baby brother from his dad). I didn't really care for being pregnant (and left....), so as far as I'm concerned I could forgo that experience again.

Katie said...

So, are you even surprised that I want two children and Derek just wants one?! Seriously, Sean & Derek are the same person lol.

Ok, so tell Sean that you guys need to move to Ohio ;)

Maria said...

that's amazing and wonderful - your parents being married for 39 years! i love the advice of not going to bed angry...something i'm learning more and more through the years!
i love your nickname! :)

xoxox
maria

What I Did Today said...

I LOOOOOVE everything you said about what your parents taught you about marriage. The part about it being ok to argue really resonated with me, because I didn't learn that from my parents. I'm learning it through trial and error now. :D

Pegster said...

This Q&A is totally one of my favorite thing you've done on the blog.

I am with you on the only child thing. I never even considered the option of only having one child, it's like of course we'll have more than one. Your reasoning is interesting and thought I never thought about it that way, I do now.

I love your 10 year goal. I have a hard time thinking past the next year. 10 years seems so far but I know it will fly by. I hope you are still blogging then :).

Carmina Hughes said...

Faith... your dress.... oh my....
G O R G E O U S.

love,
Carmina

www.cjoyhughes.blogspot.com

Fash Boulevard said...

39 years, that's amazing. And such a fabulous example. Loved this! If you get a moment, I'd love if you'd enter my latest giveaway. xo

www.fashboulevard.blogspot.com

Mrs. Pancakes said...

10 more years if Faith...bring it on. Can't wait to see where life will take you in that time!

Kiki said...

I loved reading this! i always love learning about other couples!! I am the same way about buying a house but around here everyone has there own house at like 22 and i just dont see why i need one!
have a great weekend!!
XOXO

Amanda Rose said...

This is great. Its nice to know that love can exist for a lifetime.

Amanda Rose
http://sewmuchtosay.blogspot.com

Lea Hunt said...

What a gorgeous and creative wedding picture. Luv it especially in black and white :)

LWLH said...

I would think that way too when it came to children and the future, hence why I want more than one myself.

Life with J and J said...

What an awesome post. It's good to learn more about you. You and your hubby are just so cool!

Bridget Hedger said...

Such a cute post! Haven't seen you in forever, miss you and Brittany...have to go see how her little guy is doing. Glad to know you guys have an amazing marriage!!! So many of my friends are going through rough patches with their significant others, and sometimes it's hard for me to relate. When Zac and I ever have a disagreement or argument we work through it right away He's so understanding and supportive of me I am so happy!