Friday, June 24, 2016

Appreciation - Part One

Prior to my hospitalization I ran the inside of our home and Sean did the outside. Sean did the occasional dishes, laundry, hangings on walls and fixes but for the most part I kept the house tidy.

The thing was I did not think that I did not allow Sean to do much. I knew I liked things a certain way and often felt that if I wanted something done right I should do it myself. That was the wrong attitude but I did not realize it until I came back home from the hospital.

Granted Sean did not really have much time to do things around the house with how often he was in the hospital with me but I expected the house to look the way I left it 12 days prior. Worst part was realizing that Sean did not even see that the house was a hot mess. I was quiet about what I saw but I lost my cool and actually threw a fit when I walked wobbled, limped into our bedroom.

I was in so much pain, could barely walk and our room looked like a bomb threw up in it. You didn’t even clear the side of my room, I yelled. You should have seen his face. His eyes widen so much and I felt bad that I had said anything. He was tired. He was taking care of me. I could do nothing on my own. All the responsibility was on him now and I could tell he was hurt by my reaction but he didn’t say anything because he knew that I was not myself and that anything he said would not make a difference. He was in the hospital with me for hours and although he was not physically feeling my pain, he was hurting as well.

It wasn’t until a week after that he said how much my comments hurt him and that he was trying his very best. I did apologize about the way I said things but I stood my ground, because “come on now, the house was a hot mess!”

During this time is when it dawn on Sean just how much I did. He did not realize everything that I did for him until I could no longer do it. He did not realize how easy I made his everyday life. His lunches were always packed, groceries always stocked in the fridge, breakfast and dinner always ready, laundry cleaned, folded and put away and on top of that the house was always cleaned.

It is often hard to appreciate something when you don’t know how inconvenient your life would be without it.

My first week back from the hospital was the hardest for Sean. He had to do all the groceries, he had to cook our meals, he had to do laundry, dishes and take care of our fur-babies. He often would forget to feed our cat or clean out his litter unless I reminded him which I did everyday to ensure that our cat did not starve while I was unable to feed him.

On top of all of that he had to help me. He had to bring me food, drinks, help me shower, lotion, put on pants. He had to help me climb stairs, lift my left leg on our bed each time I got into bed (which was a lot!) because my left leg was still too heavy for me to lift on my own. He had to grab my walker/cane each time I wanted to go anywhere. Oh, and he had to clean our house.

When he went back to work everything was set that I had everything in my room. I could now walk with a cane and since I did not have to go downstairs for anything I was able to get around even if it was as slow as a snail.

It was at this time that we decided to get housekeeping services because Sean could not keep up and nothing makes me more uncomfortable like a dirty house. I did some research on my phone and found a few companies for Sean to call and we picked based on reviews and decided for them to come biweekly.

The first time they came I was in so much pain so I chose not to inspect their work. I figured Sean would know how our house looks clean. Well, I was wrong! When I came out after they had left I was baffled. I said, Sean, you allowed them to leave? We’re paying a lot of money for this and you should have made sure it was done properly! Are you positive they even cleaned? I was pissed to say the least.

He didn’t understand my frustration so I pointed out our tub, our stove, the dining chairs that still had cat hair on it, etc. After I had calmed down, Sean calmed down and he called the company and advised that we weren’t happy with the service. They asked if they wanted us to come back and I said no and then they offered to take money off which we accepted.

To be continued because I didn't realize how long this post was going to be...

But yeah, Happy Friday! I mean it ;).


Nylse Esahc said...

I know it's to be continued...but I wish I had hired a housekeeper many years ago but with 4 children it did not seem doable and now it seems like I'm entitled.
But I understand the point about not appreciating something until it's not there. I appreciate your openness, because I've yelled based on the fact that the house was not kept clean based on my standards.
Waiting to see what happens next.

Tomes Edition said...

I'm sure Sean is super appreciative of everything you do now. The things that may seem obvious to us women may not be the same to men. I'm patiently waiting on part 2.

Pegster said...

This is so true in every couple, you don't realize how much the other person is really doing or contributing until they are not there to do it anymore. Let me go read part 2 :)

Cece @Mahogany Drive said...

MJ takes care of the outside and I take care of the inside cleaning and laundry, but we share the grocery/cooking duties. Also, I have never packed him a lunch in my life. Am I a bad wife?? It's interesting to see how other couples do it and what works.

Law_Fal said...

I'm all over here reading and waiting on the edge of my seat for the to be continued post lol