Thursday, July 13, 2017

Life.

IMG_4561

Lately, I’ve been feeling a tightness in my chest. Not sure where it is coming from because I know think I am OK. I don’t feel like I’m anxious but I must be. I wake up with heavy eyes that make it seem as though I did not sleep although I can’t recall tossing and turning. It’s confusing but I worry that my body is warning me of something. And I just can’t take anymore. I’m tired. I just want to be happy and healthy. I don’t need any extras; I don’t want any extras. I’ll take less that way I can be more. I may need more meditation, more prayer, more God. My mind needs to quiet all the negativity and the what ifs. The what ifs are taking away bits and pieces of my happiness. My smile doesn’t come as freely as it use to and I need it to. I want to feel like me and not like this pessimist version of Faith that wasn’t in my life until just a few years ago. Life feels like it is finally settling down so why can’t I? Why does it feel like I’m waiting for the next shoe to drop? I’m working on it; I need to work on it. Because if I know anything life is too short to waste time feeling this way. Because that’s exactly what I’m doing; wasting time.

I'm going to take this weekend to reflect and meditate and hope that by doing this I can refocus my thoughts and feelings. And maybe, just maybe, sitting down to blog (which is one of my most favorite things to do!) won't feel like such a burden.

I hope you all have had wonderful weeks and have wonderful weekends! ♥

6 comments:

Highly Favored said...

May you find peace and contentment in God knowing that He cares for you and loves you so much. Never mind the tough experiences life throws at you focus on the positive blessings you experience each day. You are in my thoughts an prayers {HUG}.

Joy B. E. said...

Awww...I have been there before. First, there is NOTHING wrong with scheduling an appointment with your PCP just to rule out anything. That often helps to put your mind at ease. Next, try to find something to focus on. It'll help take your mind away from other things that might be bothering you. And thirdly, perhaps workout late in the evening. That sometimes makes you tired enough to get a restful sleep.
Praying for God's peace for you.
Sending virtual hugs your way!

Nylse Esahc said...

Sometimes when you're going through stuff it feels like a waste of time but it's not because it forces you to do exactly what you're doing: stopping, thinking differently, reflecting.

I've been there, also. My physical health was fine but it was like I needed a spiritual recalibration. I had to go back to what I know to be true to shift my perspective.

Keeping you in my prayers.

Emily Jane said...

Schedule a doctors appointment, just to do blood work and rule everything out <3. "Why does it feel like I’m waiting for the next shoe to drop?" <--- this has been forever me. Honestly, it's a bigger burden then just not worrying about stuff. It's hard though.

I will pray for you, your peace of mind, and your health <3

Kwala G said...

Go to your MD to rule out anything. Then, I would suggest seeing a therapist. I know you've been through a lot with your mom's death and your medical scare. I know after losing my mom, therapy helped a lot. I had grief, anxiety avid depression. Just talking has helped me so much! Also, do you have the Bible app on your phone? I read the verse of the day every morning first thing before I get out of bed. They also have tons of devotionals. I'm doing one on anxiety right now. Also, you can make verse images. I make images and when I'm feeling anxious, I just look at them and it really helps me. Sorry if you already knew all of that! Anyways, prayers to you!!

Law_Fal said...

I so wish you lived down the street!