The Forgotten.

I was looking at some posts that have been sitting in drafts for years. This one specifically was written on 5/3/2013. I was not yet 30 years old when I wrote the post. I don't know if I just forgot to hit publish because it appears to me that this post was finished, maybe not perfect, but finished. Either way, it got me wondering about what I was thinking when I wrote this post and I've decided to hit publish today. Interesting enough, I still feel this way; only difference is the Faith at that time had not yet experienced loss before. So if I wrote this today, I won't have the ending the way it is. Because now I know that "losing it" is not an option.

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In a relationship, I feel that love goes through many stages.

When you first started dating it’s a new and exciting love.
Everything is happy. You’re on cloud nine and butterflies reside in your stomach.
And then you go through an uncertain period.
Not really sure if your deep feelings are reciprocated by this person. You think they are but you aren’t completely sure. Not certain if this is going to last or if the time already spent has not been wasted.

And then you go through an engaged love.

This means that you want to be in this for the long haul. You’re excited for your future with your future spouse. But there isn’t much time to reflect on much because your thoughts are consumed with wedding dress shopping, wedding date setting, accessories, hair and makeup trials, finding a photographer, deciding on a honeymoon location and so much more. The true reason behind getting married can get overshadowed with all the little details because let’s be honest, they really were little details.

And then you finally get to that married love.

And this love is unlike any you’ve know. Yes, you’ve been in love for a while but now you’re married. You’re both wearing rings that signify your commitment to each other. Husband and wife. Being introduced as a wife takes you aback because “Wait, what? I’m a wife. When did I get old enough to be someone's wife?”

And you begin making decision together because making decisions alone is no longer part of your world. And it’s this type of love that consumes you. The kind that you know you would take a bullet for this person. The kind that just the thought of going one day without this person literally makes you uneasy. This love is the kind that just knowing that he or she is happy brings you comfort.

It’s the forever kind. The kind of love that you choose to keep, to fight for, to work for. It’s the type of love that every night before bed you pray to God that He keep him safe, away from harm’s way, keep him healthy and strong.

The type of love that if you ever lost it, you will lose it.