Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Slow Your Roll Part 2


Slow Your Roll Part 1

As far as I can remember, my parents always told me to slow down.

Not because I moved too quickly, ate too quickly or walked too fast.

It was because I spoke way too fast.

My father understood because he also talks too fast. I got this incredible gene from him. Due to the fact that he is a public speaker, he had to teach himself to speak slowly.

In high school, my teachers would always interrupt me and say, "Faith, start from the beginning, but this time around try to keep it in mind to slow down."

The only issue with that was that I actually was thinking about talking slow, but when I was excited or nervous it always turned into a bunch of fkghiahgalgiojgh.

In college, my professors were kind not to interrupt me. They waited until I had finished and then my classmates would give me feedback. What do you think they said?

Yup, you're right! It was annoying to spend all my time on this presentation to be told that. And when I would ask, "any questions?" There was no question to be asked because they didn't really catch everything my presentation was on.

It also didn't help {well, it did help} that my sisters and friends started to keep my voice mails and will let me hear it. It would always surprise me that, that was me talking.

It was at that time I began to make a serious effort to talk slower.

Once I drilled it in my head, I would take a moment to think about what I wanted to say, would try to get a rhythm, then I would speak. This has worked because I don't get the "you talk too fast" nearly as much. Once in a while, but it is mostly when I am excited or heated.

So when the hubs first said to me, "Slow Your Roll". I was taken aback. It wasn't until he said, "Well, if you're talking all that fast garbage how in the world am I suppose to say anything? I don't even know what you're saying".

That I literally stopped talking.

All my life, if someone said, slow down, I would. I had to stop, think about what I wanted to say and then say it as slowly as possible.

In the heat of the moment, I would go back into my old ways and talk miles a minute.

Hubs did not realize the strength he would hold with just those three words.

So since I am not nearly as perfect as I hope to be, I still get angry and I say all the things that I am going to have to apologize for later, because ... well, I didn't really mean it. It was just the heat of the moment talking.

Lucky for me, Hubs can hardly understand what I am saying when I am pissed so he always has a question mark on his face. So when he says, "Slow Your Roll." I do. I stop.

I then begin to think about what I want to say. This is the stinky part. No one wants to say, "You annoy me to no ends, I would like nothing better than to punch you in the groin as hard as I possibly can", very slowly. It does not work as well as "IwouldlikenothingbetterthantopunchyouinthegroinashardasIpossibycan."

Well, since that is what I really want to say, I end up not saying it at all. It doesn't sound very nice when said slowly.

So the next time you're in the heat of the moment and you're about to say a few things that you are going to regret in the next few minutes, just imagine my husband saying to you, "Slow Your Roll."

I bet those words you want to say will stay where they ought to stay, in the back of your throat.

:)

20 comments:

Megan said...

What a great post!! So true, we should always be slow to speak and quick to love!

linds said...

I think that I def. need to take your advice ;0) and girl, if we lived closer I would totally teach you how to sew. :0)

Sarah said...

Food for thought... Thanks for sharing :-)

Sarah @Newlywed and Decorating said...

Good point that if it doesn't sound good said slow, it probably shouldn't be said :) I hate when I say things that I know I'm going to regret later and can't take back! It is a constant learning process to negotiate in marriage :)

Kathy said...

Great post! You crack me up though Faith! I don't talk fast, but I do clam up when upset. So I could learn to talk more... :)

jacin {lovely little details} said...

haha i am the SAME way!!

Frugalista said...

Good for you for recognizing the issue and making an effort to work on it. It's gotta be a hard habit to break. And your hubby is so patient!!

Milk and Honey Mommy said...

Faith,

You're growing. That is very beautiful. I kind of wish I could see you in one of your rants before you completely change. I know you wouldn't think it funny, but it would probably be a good laugh. Seriously, learning to think it through before speaking is a hard one and it's good you realize the changes you need to make. Hey, give Sean a special kiss for his patience because you both have many years ahead together and I'm sure you have more surprises for him.

I'm just the opposite; I talk fast all the time and usually shut down when I get annoyed or upset.

Melissa said...

I speak super fast too, and loud! Being a teacher, I've worked hard on fixing both of those things, It's really difficult, but important!

I walk and eat fast as well :P 2 more things I need to slow down haha

Ashley said...

You've officially won me over with the "Slow your Roll"...I'm a fast speaker too! Always have been and everyone tells me to slow down! Get this, I'm a Communications major. Go figure right?! lol.

Jen said...

Slow your roll? I guess I can relate!! People too have told me to slow down when talking. Glad I'm not the only one ;-)

Happy Thursday Dear!

Oh, and have entered my EmersonMade giveaway yet?

What I Did Today said...

Hahahahahahahaha! I've never been told to slow down. This sounds more like my sister. My husband DID used to complain about how fast I walked. I had life to live and things to do! Having kids has def slowed me down. Well, actually, being preggo did. Good luck with slowin' your rollin'. Hahaha! Great subject.

Mindy said...

OMGosh, I laughed out loud reading your post. I have from time to time spoken too quickly, but after years of training others I have learned to slow down. I then carried the same lessons I had learned from training to the home. "Hear what they have to say, repeaat what they say, then say it back to them" this has the same affect as "slow your roll". when you put yourself on their side (as in acknowledging their questions, comments, emotions, etc) Your (my) response is much kinder and understanding. We could all stand to practice slowing our roll and thinking about how our words affect others before we speak them.

Blessings
Mindy at The Howell Blessings

Stephanie the PW said...

HAHA!!! Guess what happens when I get excited or angry? The TWANG comes out... and I mean, seriously BAD. I use appalachian-rooted words that shouldn't be used. The total hick comes out, and I hate it! lol... Most of the time, I can contain the accent - keep it to a minimum, try to sound like I have some kind of class. But look out - get me excited, and I sound like a crazy girl! LOL :)

ruthy ann said...

the opposite happens to me...when I'm pissed I just can't get anything out!! I freeze and go mute!

Sommer J said...

Awww! My problem is I either speak really softly (most times) or wen I am angry I get crazy loud! My problem with presentatins i school was mainly speaking softly. It's embarassing when someone asks to me to speak up when I think I am hallering! lol

Jenni said...

You are hilarious!!! This really cracked me up, and it's actually excellent advice. True, true. Saying "you annoy me to no ends, I would like nothing better than to punch you in the groin as hard as I possibly can" truly DOESN'T sound as good if you slow it down. HA!!! I heart you Faith!!!

Carla said...

Interesting post. I tend to speak fast only when I'm really angry-- go figure!

www.est1987.net

sssdawna said...

aww i like your post : ) you have good advice and so does your stud muffin! *hehe*

Jemima said...

oh Faith you are my new favourite person, that is the story of my life i too speak very fast and i got it from my dad..had the exact same problem in high school and college and i am always shocked when i hear my recorded voice, i still speak too fast 50% of the time though, am not really good at working on it ..but the similarity is incredible really..