Monday, May 29, 2017

Update.

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Last year, around this time I was just getting back into the swing of things. I was back to work, able to walk and exercise and getting my strength back. Best of all, I was off narcotics! I was still on blood thinners but at least not on narcotics. My left leg was still pretty weak and if I sat down for more than an hour, when I got up I limped for about five minutes before my stride returned to normal.

How am I now?

I am off the blood thinners! The filter that was placed in my chest has been removed. For the most part, I am back to who I was before my complications last year. My left leg is not the same, not sure that it ever will be. It still swells and I need to wear compression stockings for the rest of my life. Although, I’ve learned that if I’m going to be moving for most of the day, I can go without (hallelujah!). At work, I have to wear it since I work a desk job and sit for most of the day. If I don’t wear it at work my leg swells considerably and I'm uncomfortable the entire day. And well, it's just not worth it not to.

I use to say that my legs (and boobs) were my best asset. Well, when your leg swells to three times the size of your normal leg size it leaves stretch marks, cellulite and well, let’s just say that my right leg looks much better now, ha. I’m trying not to let it get to me so much because I’m usually not too much of a vain person but it’s hard for me not to notice since I loved my legs and enjoy(ed) wearing shorts, dresses, etc. One way I’m doing that is just by wearing what I love. Life is too short to be worried about something like this. Yes, my left leg swells. Yes, it is not what it use to be. But I have my leg, a leg that I could have lost; so perspective is keeping me leveled on days that I'm really hard on myself.

My stomach has a very visible 10 inch scar but the inside of it has not felt better. I don't get the awful cramps I use to get and I hardly feel bloated; I use to feel bloated all the time. I'll take the scar over the discomfort I use to feel on the regular.

Sean and I have been talking about our futures and what we want with our life. We have lots of plans! We are even talking about adoption. Just talking. We’ve always wanted kids and if I’m to be honest, in college I use to tell my girlfriends that I was going to have the United Nation of kids and they would ask, how? And I would reply, I’m going to adopt the world. I was half joking. There’s a lot of research we have to do and it is not something that happens quickly so I was hesitant to even bring it up on here just in case things don’t pan out. But it’s where we are right now and if things change in the future, that’s OK. Things change. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last few years is that things change and we just have to move with them. We have no choice, really.

So, I’m in good health. I have good days & bad days. Some days my eyes well up with tears when I think that I’m not even sad. It’s a strange thing. I’m learning a lot about myself. I’m coping with sadness, grief and loss but I also am so grateful to be here; living.

9 comments:

Laura Darling said...

I'm glad that you are healthy this year! You have so much courage and strength and you are an inspiration!

Keshia Langevillier said...

Very nice photo on the beach! Always smiling!

Bisous

Nylse Esahc said...

Faith; I love your attitude and I'm happy to read this. Just remember to be gentle with yourself and don't believe the lies of the devil which come as nagging thoughts that you can give power to - ignore them. I'm thankful for the wonderful people that are in your corner - Sean, your family, and friends.
Keep moving forward; you are making a lovely difference.

Emily Jane said...

I'm glad to hear you're off the blood thinners ! I think the less medications you HAVE to take the better. Also that the chest filter was removed as well. As for your leg never being the same again, who knows?! God still may heal it little by little <3.

Any little boy or girl would be lucky to have the two of you as parents <3

Samantha said...

I've been thinking about you and am so glad for such a positive update!! <3 <3 <3

Desiree Macke said...

Faith! Thank you so much for the update. It's so great to hear that things are going so well for you.
We'll keep you and Sean in our prayers for your future and plans.
xo

Kristen said...

I'm so glad to hear you are doing well. You are one strong woman! <3

CoastWithMe said...

Faith, I love it when you said "things change and we have to move with them". It's so true! Life throws us curveballs and tests our strength. We have no choice but to adjust, accept, and appreciate our new normal and move with changes as you said. I'm so happy to hear your doing better and I hope you and Sean adopt a United Nation of kids! P.S. You look absolutely gorgeous! :)

Joy B. E. said...

Beautiful picture! And wonderful testimony! Praying that God guides your path and praying that your heart's desires are met. You area definitely looking at things in a very healthy and positive way! You're doing GREAT!!!